If my Psychology studies taught me one thing, it’s that navigating the world successfully isn’t about having all the answers - it’s about understanding that people react to situations differently. Grasping this principle is essential for manoeuvring through any circumstance.
That vital skill of reading the room, anticipating friction and building bridges? That’s the real-world use of emotional intelligence (EQ).
EQ is a crucial set of skills centred on how we process and manage emotions.
At its core, EQ is about recognising one’s own feelings and consciously choosing how to respond, rather than simply reacting in problematic ways.
This involves deep self-awareness and self-regulation. Crucially, EQ extends outward.
It involves recognising the feelings arising in others a skill known as empathy.
Once recognised, high EQ allows an individual to use this awareness to foster better relationships, work out conflicts effectively and collaborate smoothly. Therefore, emotional intelligence is not merely a ‘soft skill,’ but a powerful tool for professional and personal growth, turning potential friction into productive connection.
Emotional intelligence is a skill that can be developed through consistent practice.
- Practice self-awareness: Start by keeping a feeling journal to track your emotions and the situations that trigger them. Before reacting to a stressful event, take a ‘pause button’ moment to simply name the emotion you are feeling (e.g., ‘I feel frustrated’). This prevents an impulsive reaction.
- Enhance self-regulation: When a strong negative feeling arises, use techniques like deep breathing to physically calm your nervous system. Learn to mentally reframe negative thoughts; for instance, changing ‘I can’t do this’ to ‘I can try a different approach.’
- Develop empathy: Practice active listening by focusing entirely on what the other person is saying, without preparing your own response. Try the ‘put yourself in their shoes’ exercise by asking yourself: Why might they be reacting this way?
- Improve social skills: When offering feedback, use ‘I’ statements (e.g., ‘I felt unheard when...’) instead of ‘you’ statements (‘You never listen to me...’). This fosters constructive communication and strengthens your ability to manage relationships effectively.
Emotional intelligence is a crucial set of skills centred on how we process and manage emotions. (Pic: InSync Insights)
