Madam,

There comes a time when every person must choose between discipline and distraction, between solitude and connection, between emotion and focus, a war within. In a world that constantly demands our attention, we must ask ourselves: Is love a force that strengthens us, or is it merely a beautiful distraction?

For years, my narrative was built on books, Hip Hop and my own writings. Tools that helped me make sense of my pain and turned my struggles into something understandable, something bearable. Fatherhood gave me purpose and prayer fuelled that purpose. Then love came and suddenly, everything changed. At first, I saw love as an interruption to the disciplined life I had built. It was pleasurable, but it also dismantled the solitude that had kept me sharp. I was always fine when I stayed lonely.

Though, was I truly fine or was I just comfortable? This dilemma is not mine alone, it is universal. How much space should love occupy in a life that is driven by ambition? Loneliness is a misunderstood reality, often painted as a dark and tragic state, something to be escaped at all costs. However, I have come to understand that loneliness is neither insanity, nor is it a betrayal of self. It’s just loneliness...something manageable, something that allows a person to stay focused, to remain undistracted by the unpredictable waves of emotion.

Many great thinkers, artists and innovators have found clarity in solitude. There is power in being alone, in having full control over ones thoughts and energy, but is power enough? Is success built on the foundation of solitude, truly fulfilling? When love entered my life, it disrupted my perspective. Suddenly, my priorities shifted. I began questioning the beliefs I once held as absolute truths. I had always believed that emotions were dangerous, that they could derail focus, that they could make a person vulnerable to exploitation, was I wrong? The truth is ...real, deep, transformative love isn’t just a distraction.

It challenges us, makes us rethink our purpose and adds depth to our existence. It isn’t the enemy of focus, but a force that reshapes it. However, when love is unchecked, when it consumes too much space, it can indeed become a weight, slowing down progress.

Another truth that life has taught me is that once you achieve something significant, you become a target. Whether it’s in career, creativity or personal growth, success attracts attention, both good and bad. The world will test you and people will seek to exploit what you’ve built. This is why focus is essential. To maintain what you’ve worked for, you must guard your mind, your time and your emotions. Too much emotional investment in the wrong places can make you vulnerable and too little emotional investment can make you isolated.

The challenge is finding the balance. This struggle between love and focus, solitude and connection, is one that everyone faces at some point. Whether you are an artist, a student, an entrepreneur or simply someone trying to make sense of life, you must determine how much space emotions should take up in your journey. Some will say that love makes life meaningful, others will argue that solitude breeds greatness. The answer isn’t universal but it’s personal. One thing remains true, without discipline, nothing great is built and without love, nothing great is felt.

 So, where does this leave us? Do we shut out love to maintain focus, or do we surrender to it and risk being derailed? The answer lies in balance. Love should not make you abandon your purpose and focus should not make you incapable of love.

I used to think emotions were unnecessary, that love was a weakness, that solitude was my greatest strength. That has changed now, I see that love, especially when understood, when given space but not control, can be the most powerful and transformative force of all. The key is awareness. Know when to pull back and when to surrender. Know when to protect your energy and when to share it and most importantly, never forget that focus and love are not enemies, but simply forces that require careful navigation. In the end, we must all answer this for ourselves: Will love sharpen you or will it distract you? Will solitude strengthen you or will it limit you? Choose wisely.

Many great thinkers, artists and innovators have found clarity in solitude. There is power in being alone, in having full control over one's thoughts and energy, but is power enough? (Pic: AARP)