Madam,

As we closed Men’s Mental Health Month just yesterday, we woke up today to yet another unbearable headline: A father accused of raping his daughter. The timing is painful, not because it explains the crime, but because it forces us to confront a deeper silence we often avoid, what happens inside men when emotional pain, trauma, anger and unresolved wounds are left unspoken, until they manifest in ways that destroy innocent lives.

We gasp when we read such headlines. We share them briefly. We express outrage, shock and disbelief. Then the day moves on, the news cycle shifts and life continues as if nothing happened.

But for that little girl, nothing continues. Her childhood is not interrupted; it is destroyed. Her sense of safety is not shaken, it is erased. The home that should have been her place of warmth becomes a space of fear. The man who should have been her first protector becomes the source of her deepest betrayal. And she is left with questions no child should ever carry: Why me? Why my home? Why my father?

What have our daughters done to deserve such unimaginable cruelty? The truth is, nothing. And yet they pay everything.

Scripture reminds us of a sacred responsibility placed upon adults and parents: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it,” Proverbs 22:6. But today we are forced to ask, where have we lost it? Where did we lose the discipline, moral grounding and accountability that once protected the innocence of children and guided families?

We are also reminded that children are not burdens, but sacred gifts: “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him,” Psalm 127:3. A reward is meant to be cherished, protected and nurtured, not harmed, silenced or destroyed.

And Christ’s words leave no room for ambiguity: “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me” (Matthew 18:5). He warns with striking seriousness that harming a child is among the gravest of sins (Matthew 18:6). These are not general spiritual ideas; they are a moral mirror held up to our society.

Yet today, many girls suffer behind closed doors, in homes where no one suspects a thing. The most dangerous place for them is often not outside, but within their own households. They are silenced through fear, manipulation, threats and the crushing belief that no one will believe them if they speak.

And when the truth finally emerges, it is often too late to restore what was taken.

The tragedy does not end with arrest or court proceedings. Headlines fade quickly, but trauma does not. These girls carry invisible scars into adulthood, struggles with trust, identity, self-worth, anxiety, depression and relationships deeply shaped by betrayal. Some never fully recover from what was done to them by the very person meant to protect them.

For too long, we have hidden behind the idea that ‘men have deeper issues’ as a way of explaining behaviour that still requires full accountability. But buntfu buphelile, the state of our humanity demands honesty. Pain may explain struggle, but it can never excuse harm, especially harm against children who are most vulnerable.

True change requires more than policies, laws or campaigns alone. These are necessary, but insufficient on their own. Lasting transformation must reach the heart of a person. Many believe that real change ultimately comes from God, who transforms the inner being, shapes conscience and restores character in ways human systems alone cannot. But even within that belief, accountability remains absolute. No struggle, no background, no excuse removes responsibility for one’s actions.

We have become dangerously accustomed to these stories. We read them, shake our heads and move on. But every normalised headline is a silenced child.

We must stop asking why these children did not speak sooner. We must ask why adults failed to see, why silence protected perpetrators and why communities still hesitate when the accused is known or close.

To every girl living this nightmare, hear this clearly: None of this is your fault. The shame belongs entirely to the abuser. You are not invisible. You are not forgotten. And you deserve safety, justice, and healing.

(Pic: AI generated/ Gemini)