STEWARDSHIP IN MARRIAGE

 LAST week we talked about respect as a pillar in marriage; today I want to unpack the importance of stewardship in marriage. Many couples, when getting married, make promises to each other and some even go to the extent of penning poems for each other.

There is nothing amiss about that and in-fact couples should be encouraged to express their feelings and commitment to the marriage. However, what remains key is the fulfillment of these promises and vows. Often, we make these promises under extremely happy emotions and then get into the temptation of neglecting or not honouring them when those happy emotions disappear. Over and above the vows we make to each other, marriage has responsibilities, obligations and duties.

There are responsibilities for the husband and the wife alike. Each must fulfill his/her responsibilities independent of the other, and herewith lays the challenge. The husband and the wife ought to think themselves as stewards if they are to faithfully honour their responsibilities, obligations and duties in marriage. For the purposes of this article, I will define stewardship as the careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one’s care. Marriage is God-designed, but He has entrusted man to manage it.

Stewardship has five main threads that are worth mentioning to enhance our comprehension. Firstly, there is the element of love; unless you love or develop love for that which you are a steward of, you will be unable to be a good steward. In the context of husband and wife, there ought to be love that will lubricate the execution of the responsibilities, obligations and duties of marriage.

Secondly, stewardship speaks to sacrifice; this aspect is often neglected by married couples, yet it can be the thread that reveals true love. Sacrifice is the quality of denying one’s interest for the benefit of the other. Couples that are in the habit of sacrificing often find themselves much happier and tend to be good managers of marriage, because they can refocus to the bigger purpose of marriage amid tough times.

Sacrifice is not easy and certainly not enjoyable, but it is done for the superior benefit. Good stewards are not afraid to sacrifice. The third element is possession; unless you take control and appropriation of that which has been placed in your care, stewardship will not be complete. Husbands and wives need to take possession of the gift of marriage and know that they have been entrusted.

Very close to possession is ownership, which is the fourth element of stewardship. Ownership governs stewardship, knowing the ultimate ownership of marriage should lift up the duty-burden from the husband and wife, because He who designed marriage and entrusted it to mankind has also empowered men to manage marriage. Stewards who know they are stewards and who also know the owner of that which they have been entrusted with to manage and care for, are in for an enjoyable life in marriage.

It is normally easier to be a good steward if you respect the owner of the thing you are a steward of; husbands and wives who do not respect God often fall short in this area. Lastly, stewardship speaks to your relationship with God the creator of marriage, and with your spouse. Healthy relationships with human beings are dependent on the health of the relationship we have with God. Husbands and wives ought to prioritize and work out their relationship with God to enjoy this element of stewardship. 

I would like to briefly highlight a few areas where we exercise our stewardship as husbands and wives. Stewardship of self, see yourselves as a unit that is prepared to keep in step with the dictates of the word of God and always lead a God shaped lifestyle, ready to be of service to His kingdom. Let your marriage be a tool in the hand of the Lord.

Another area is stewardship of talent - God has given you both unique talents and you must always determine to do all you can to collectively apply those talents for the edification of each other and others benefitting from your marriage. You would have done well if you fan and not kill each other’s talents. Stewardship of wealth, the husband and the wife must realise that the treasure that God has placed into their hands is not meant to be a source of division, instead a doorway of opportunities to serve others.

Careful use of finances will build the marriage, unfortunately the opposite is true; carelessness in finances will tear down the marriage. It is good to have money and even more admirable to use money in a godly fashion. Another area is stewardship of time, we all have the equal amount of time; however, the difference is in how we use it.

The husband and wife are to be good stewards of time, you must be determined to spend more time together from day one of your marriage. Devote time to serve each other, your family, your community and your church. Unfortunately, far too many married couples are unable to effectively use this commodity which can neither be saved nor stored.

The busy lifestyles we lead only aggravate the misuse of time, and as I have already alluded, stewardship calls for sacrifice and couples who are not willing to sacrifice will perpetually find themselves having no time together.

God has entrusted us with the responsibility to manage marriage and He has given us all the abilities, talents and wisdom to be good stewards of this institution. God Bless you! Please send comments to adminsec@mbac.co.sz    

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