WHY WE PASS DEROGATORY REMARKS

We are becoming a nation which is constantly passing derogatory remarks besides walking about with long faces.

We tend to point fingers at others about their shortcomings instead of recognising that we see it in others because we have it in self. I asked myself what could be causing this and certain of the following came to mind. The lack of money within the country is causing most to focus on scarcity. Once we tap into this vibration it becomes difficult to recognise the goodness that may still exist. It is scarcity that makes one not share, hoard things and even get irritable when others dare to mention they require this or that. Unfortunately, our unguarded spontaneous behaviour combined with our vocalisations results in one often saying things they later regret besides of course creating a very unpleasant atmosphere; become aware if you are doing this. This then leads to guilt.

Guilt comes from one feeling they could have behaved in a less dramatic manner and should have stopped self before all those hurtful things were uttered. We also tend to feel we could ‘have done more’. To avoid this, one has to live mindfully, one must do something now, not later and one has to constantly bear in mind that words once uttered cannot be taken back. People may forgive us, but it is almost impossible to forget. Somehow that knife cuts so deep that unless one is conscious of their ‘fear’ of yet again being hurt, one will inevitably always ‘avoid’ being in that situation again and yet, we never know, everything in our lives changes in a moment – opportunity may well be lost if we walk about with the dross and baggage from our ‘past’ experiences. This ‘fear’ is what holds one back from achieving our goals and failing to believe we can succeed.

Fear is the greatest reason why most do not venture out of their comfort zone. They fear being judged by others who care less about how much they hurt others by their demeaning remarks; they fear failure and yet failure is what teaches other determined beings to find solutions to their hurdles; fear of the unknown is what separates the successful from those who fail, for those who have overcome fear have realised that everything they want is on the other side of the fear that had previously held them back. It is this fear that brings up all the insecurities we ‘protect’ in the depths of our innermost emotions. We fear others will find out about our ‘pasts’ and yet we fail to recognise that we had to be there, before we could be in the here and now.

Those insecurities are resultant from numerous negative experiences in the past. The insecurity of not being ‘good enough’ of not being ‘worthy’ of having ‘failed’ in one or other area; we have to acknowledge where we are in life before we can ‘change’ anything in our lives. (For the full article go to: www.inalda.co.sz)

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