Why pastors cheat on their wives
MBABANE – Some pastors claim that their wives’ actions lead them to adulterous relationships.
The clergymen allege that some of their wives do not support them as they do the work of God, which results in them being tempted by other women.
Pastors revealed this during a One Day Church Leaders Dialogue on Multiple Concurrent Partnership held at the Mountain Inn.
It was held on Wednesday.
The event was attended by about 50 pastors from various denominations.
Most of the pastors who took part in the dialogue organised by the Population Services International (PSI) are affiliates of the three main church bodies.
These are League of African Christian Churches, Swaziland Conference of Churches (SCC) and the Council of Swaziland Churches (CSC).
During this meeting, most pastors were concerned about the behaviour of their wives, saying the women were too busy to give them the needed attention.
Leading the discussions during the dialogue was Reverend Johaness Mazibuko of the Mbabane Alliance Church.
Mazibuko is well known for his skills in counselling couples who are preparing to get married and those who have problems in their marriages.
It emerged at the meeting that some pastors had been preaching for years but their wives were not known to the public.
Interviewed later, Mazibuko told the Times SUNDAY that during the dialogue it transpired that most pastors blamed their wives for not supporting them in ministry.
"A pastor needs a lot of support especially from his wife," he said.
"She should be close to you at all times if possible. This will reduce the chances of being engaged in an adulterous affair. You find that women do not understand the importance of being close to us at all times especially when we are in the ministry on a full time bases. We work with different people and at times you become tempted. If your wife is close to you it becomes easy to fight those temptations."
He said pastors called upon PSI to organise another dialogue where their spouses would also be invited.
"Pastors felt it was important for their wives to know their feelings as they needed their support," he said.
"If the wife becomes busy, especially when you would be preaching in areas that are far from home, some pastors end up getting other ladies from the church to accompany them. You then find that an adulterous relationship is formed. It was agreed that if possible, our wives should be with us at all times to avoid the negative publicity that we end up getting."
Mazibuko said other issues the pastors raised was that some of them normally compare their wives with other church members something that should not happen.
"Some admitted that at times it happened that they compare their wives with other women in the church," he said.
"In most cases the women they compare their wives with are married. Pastors were warned not to compare their wives with others as this was not good. They were reminded that God was against adulterous relationships and therefore, they should avoid such."
He said pastors have the tendency of leaving their homes and spend time in hotels claiming that they do not want to be disturbed as they want to spend time in the presence of God.
"Pastors were told that doing this was very dangerous as they could be tempted and find themselves spending quality time with other women instead of their wives," he said.
"At home there is everything and there is no reason one would say he needs to stay in a hotel to spend some time with God without being disturbed. Pastors were warned to be careful as they are expected to be role models. They are expected to lead by example especially because they have lives of people in their hands."
Bongiwe Zwane, PSI Public Relations Officer, said the dialogue was specifically for church leaders because they have a large following.
"Everyone belongs to a certain church and talking to the leaders was the right forum of addressing issues involving multiple relationships," she said.
"We are also concerned at reports about church leaders being involved in more than one relationship and that is why we felt such an issue should be addressed. It is one of the reasons why we invited them to such a forum so they could share the problems they encounter that make them to be involved in such relationships."
Zwane encourage the public to stick to one partner and this being the person they have chosen to be involved in a relationship with."
That kind of faith is no more found Pastor Mdluli.The way you put it is so divine and powerful ,only those Christians who themselves died but Christ live in them can live that Word. We are so pampered with a gospel that deceives .Telling us that suffering is not our portion when the bible teaches the opposite.In fact it says we will be tried and hated and will suffer in the world and go through all kinds of suffering but those who endure to the end will inherit the kingdom.What do you say of the gospel that teachs us that we were meant to have plenty and be glamorous in dressing and pimp our selves and have every latest car make at the expense of the poor or instead of giving to the poor. This is the same lifestyle that has contaminated and corrupted the christian's real calling. Jesus doesn't really talk about us having plenty and living a flamboyant lifestyle but he promised us that surely God will supply all our needs according to his riches in glory,that is guaranteed. Otherwise he wouldn't have fed the 5000 and made them share fish and bread but would have told them its sin to be poor because he has come to make them rich,which is what is preached by this prosperity gospel.But he gave us a lesson of shearing.With this attitude don't expect people to sacrifice for their marriages to work.Forgiving is a foreign word to us now. Even people who call themselves Prophets,Apostles,Pastors,Bishops,Prophetess and what ever title,they look for every small opportunity to get out of their marriages,no one want to work on it through forgiving and pain.This is because our thinking and lifestyle is too much influenced by the world than by the Word of God. Unless our minds are renewed,die to self, separate ourselves from the world and its it things and take counsel only from the word of God not from organisations and world standards,we are really going to hell.This is because judgement will be about being a good servant in doing the Word not what suited you in your situations but doing the word and persevering in the Word to the end,then you will earn your everlasting life.People shouldn't think God can be fooled,we can fool each other but not God.Some will say God loves us and will understand,but we forget that those who bring his Word to contempt knowingly won't be forgiven and God expect more from those who know the truth than from those who don't. Where does this present Church stands in the presence of this analysis? I am afraid,God help us.
May 29, 2011, 12:42 PM, Stones (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Swaziland was the pride of the Southern part of Africa when it came to the gospel,Swazis use to talk and live the Gospel.Not any more. But I still take pride to the fact that though not expects of holiness I lived with the generation that was proud of the holiness in the gospel.Shame on the youth and this generation,what have they done to this gospel.Just like Paul to the Corinthians
May 29, 2011, 12:42 PM, Stones (email@example.com)