Awesome gala night!

(Guest writer)

Kwasuka loko… wangena Sis Gertrude Sigudla… sangena
    simomondiya sase-Bhawini… wangena Sisi Gert, Gert… exit Shwashwaza Sports Crew asenitsatse i-break again bafana bami… esami lesikhundla.

Phela kwangehlula vele, despite kutsi I am proud Mbabane Highlanders supporter – relegated or not, ngiyi-Nkunzi, I ended up attending the Mbabane Swallows Gala dinner, chiefly because my handsome boyfriend supports the letimphaphi… er I mean the high flying ‘Birds’ and nje he insisted we both attend. I had no choice because phela besekangibalisela kutsi he had taken me to the Highlanders meetings in recent times.

Ngatihudvula ke la to the event. However, I must say I do not regret taking that decision because phela this was a red carpet event indeed. Cha…kona I do not like Swallows  but jealousy down bekukuhle… the decorations as I stepped in to occupy the centre table made me just melt and vele I needed the strong hands of my boyfriend who walked me to the table.

Phela when I stepped I was welcomed by ‘Under Control’ Mamba, who I am told was leading the organisation of the whole event and I must say…cha Ntfulini  everything was ‘UNDER CONTROL’… I greeted bo-Sandile ‘Beyond 2 000’ Zwane na-CEO (or is it Acting?) Sibusiso Manana who were dressed in beautiful blue suits, white shirts and wore their red ties. As I nestled in my seat I was overwhelmed by the whole room which looked beautiful in the red, white and blue of the ‘Birds’ and at the top I could see kutsi bekuhleli vele ema-VIP.  I saw lelibhoza laku-Generations Khethiwe and was over the moon. Ngaphose ngamemeta ngatsi “Uphi Khubone wena Khetsiwe!”….I was disappointed though nge-dress code yakhe. I will address this one later.

I then quickly perused the booklet which contained every information you needed to know about Swallows and the event itself. Classy!
Luckily for me, I didn’t need to wait long as the ushers ase-Limkokwing University were on hand to give me my favourite red wine bottle yalabo-Mzala labane  (Four Cousins) and I was told it was a special bottle from the Swallows Chairman Victor ‘Maradona’ Gamedze who had plenty in the boot of his BMW and this marked the start of a wonderful night. Armed with my glass of wine I couldn’t care less that by attending the function I was literally sleeping with the enemy, so to speak.

I almost forgot…phela bengisidlile  sidvwedvwe… my brown suit and red top just made me stand out from the crowd. The Swallows fans on the left side of the upper deck looked splendid in their red and white colours. This is what I saw before bo-Mzala took me home – literally…
HE SPEECHES

Mduduzi ‘Tsotsi’ Mabila
He delivered a good speech and it is just a pity he messed the surname of his father-in-law the Deputy Prime Minister Themba Masuku whom he called Dlamini. Though he quickly corrected himself, the damage was done and I was not shocked nje babazala nakatsi utohlawula. Hehehehehehehe...

He touched on very important points Mabila but lost me when he tried to explain why as PLS they wanted the First vice presidency and not really meant to send their chairman, Victor Gamedze to challenge for the presidency. Kahle ‘Tsotsi’, you can try and sugar-coat it but the truth kutsi you guys failed to read the FA constitution and it was an embarrassment on the PLS part kutsi they did not know that the chairman does not qualify to stand for the elections. I like ‘Tsotsi’ Mabila a lot but here he just spoke like a true lawyer – trying to tell you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip!
Gwagwagwagwagwa …

Swallows boss, Victor Gamedze
It was good to see that he had brought his whole family, wife and kids and he spoke so fluently this time – short and sweet. His joke that the Prime Minister had joined a very powerful Ministry in Mbabane Swallows left me giggling like a naughty school girl. He was also modest about his team’s achievements – that it did not come on a silver platter. He lamented my team, Highlanders relegation and made a good point that there is a business side to my team’s relegation. Phela ungabeva bahleka kutsi i-Hghlanders has been relegated yet ababoni kutsi itokufa lebhola because konkhe lolokunye kwema-team rely on gate collections nakudlalwa ne-Highlanders, Wanderers and Swallows to pay their expenses. Gamedze is right – it will affect the PLS revenue. Ngakuva kahle Madlenya ke lapho. 16 teams next season, I say! Siyabonga Chairman kwendlalela inkhu-lumo ya-PM ngalendlela…

Prime Minister, Sibusiso Dlamini
He delivered a  moving speech, acknowledging Swallows success waze washo kutsi one of his family members, whom he cannot reveal (mine I suspect kutsi it is the one lohle adlala i-basketball) is a Swallows person. He then went on and on with the Swallows slogans much to the joy of the multitudes of Swallows, who were well behaved on the night. The PM had me in stitches phela when he said there was a scramble in Cabinet as to who should accompany him to the Swallows event.

“Tonight it is not about war but celebration. Swallows have won the treble, which is a very rare feat. Allow me to congratulate them on their achievement. Indeed like he bird, the team is named after, they are graceful at night,” said the PM.
Well said Mlangeni well said… bebashayana kakhulu labantfu in the past season  - they scored 89 goals in the past season. 52 of those goals ku-league!

THE DRESS CODE

Almost everyone was dressed for the occasion but besides a few Swallows fans, who understandably, had no invitation cards to see kutsi it was written in black and white kutsi this was a formal function, I was disappointed nga-Khetsiwe we-Generations. She actually dresses kancono kule-soapie. On the day bekagcoke ngatsi uya nje e-Tsanalanag er Pub N’ Grill down the valley. In jeans and a black top….hhayi khona Khetsiwe or were you drunk again like leku-Generations?
I was disappointed shem…

THE FOOD

Well, well, well, the food was okay but it didn’t blow me away – just normal dinner food for such functions but I was not happy that some people next to the table nje bengihleli kilo abakutfolanga kudla because it was finished. That was the biggest let down on the night. If you are going to invite people – and ignore invitations cards – then you must be prepared to go an extra mile to ensure sonkhe lesive lesingangebantfwa ba-Abraham is fed.
We hope lessons have been learnt here. At least as a VIP I had my meal…

THE MISSING PERSONS:

I was appalled to see coach Nyanga ‘Crooks’ Hlophe missed the event. As for winger, Darren ‘Dazza’ Christie not attending I was not surprised. What’s up with ‘Dazza’ vele?
He needs a new hairstyle and probably a team too …. gwagwagwagwagwagwa!

THE AWARDS

All those who got awards deserved them especially Tony ‘TT’ Tsabedze who has won more awards than many of his peers will ever win in their playing careers.
For sure lekakhe sekunatfwa ngaleti-nkomishi because there is no space for silverware anymore. Ha! I was pleasantly surprised phela when the ‘Official of the Year’ award went to Emmanuel Seyama but the chairman of the club Gamedze explained kutsi he is one dedicated official at the club. Congratulations Seyama!

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