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WHO IS FOOLING WHO?

24/11/2020 00:33:00 BY Lwazi's Pandora's Box

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My dearest readers.........I was fidgeting on my phone on Friday afternoon while trying to replace my bloodstream with the finest Scottish nectar when I heard a beep sound. It was a message from the COSAFA Media Panel WhatsApp group, which I am part of, alerting us that four countries had been disqualified from the Under-17 Championships for having fielded over-aged players. One of those countries, was of course my home country, Eswatini. The others who have apparently been caught with their pants down are Botswana, Zimbabwe and Comoros Islands.

I took another sip, giving the Boss of Me (BOM) (the woman I am currently test driving our compatibility ahead of our nuptials) the kind of look that would roast a piece of Sir Loin steak in seconds. As my favourite writer, Sunday Times Ndumiso Ngcobo would write, she also looked at me like I had just confessed to being the 20th Al Qaeda hijacker on 9/11. “What’s the problem? Has someone suddenly collapsed and died?’’

anger

I was almost breathless, seething with anger. “No, no, we have just been disqualified from COSAFA Under-17 tournament because that Eswatini Fumblers Association (EFA) fielded an over-aged player. We just never learn!” I bellowed. She retorted. “Ah, yati ngitsi utokhuluma intfo le-serious kantsi usho lokwemdlalo kwenu loko. At least i-Pirates idlala kusasa. Khohlwa ngalentfo lena,” she crowed.

I can bet my destabilising Zim dollar she is not the only one who has long developed social distancing from local football, in particular the national teams – at whatever level. You see, emaSwati crave a team that can give them the craze. The national team of freshly faced diminutive midfielder Dennis ‘Yuki’ Masina, of a galloping Sibusiso ‘Spoko’ Dlamini, the national team of an astute dearly departed Tholeni ‘Schuster’ Nkambule bossing the midfield; of Siza ‘King Pele’ Dlamini bull-dozing defences like a rhino going through spider-webs; of Mfanzile ‘Fash’ Dlamini’s muscularity and sublime first touch; of a probing John ‘Shisa Junior’ Mdluli captained by the indefatigable Jerry ‘Mbazo’ Gamedze. That was the last time soccer fans saw battle-hardened warriors who were prepared to give heart and soul to the jersey and fly the nation’s flag with pride. It does not need a rocket scientist to deduce that most of these players who gave us the thrills in the late 1990s and early 2000s, were products of the Umtsentse Development Programme and most importantly the Chappies Little League.

scenario

My mind raced back to this period when we were kings after this embarrassing scenario enveloped itself in Port Elizabeth on Friday and I could not help but conclude that indeed, the chickens have come home to roost.

Whether guilty or not guilty of fielding an over-aged player, there is no doubt we have not moved an inch ever since.

But let’s get to the crux of the matter. This embarrassing scenario that has been visited upon our football has obviously left all of us feeling déjà vu, especially coming at a time when we expect the EFA to have done its checks and balances. The subsequent statement from the EFA gives a clear picture of an organisation that did its due diligence to ensure all the players went through the Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) test to ensure all our players were of the right age to play in the Under-17 tournament. That’s why the EFA has learnt with the “greatest shock, disbelief and absolute heavy-heartedness the decision attributed to be from CAF relating to the disqualification of Eswatini U17 boys national team.”

reputable

The EFA argues that it took the players through the MRI testing at a reputable health facility, where all the players passed and is now shocked that one of the players has failed the same MRI test in Port Elizabeth. I want to give the EFA the benefit of doubt here. More-so after CAF Medical Officer Dr Thulani Ngwenya’s confusing statement that MRI does not determine age but legibility. If it doesn’t determine the age then what is it for then? Maybe I am too much of a layman to understand the medical language here but the reliability of the MRI testing also comes under close scrutiny. A team submits a disc to CAF medical team after undergoing the test and if the same machinery approved of all the players what then changed? Only medical personnel can give us clarity especially in analysing Dr Thulani Ngwenya’s statement which is confusing to a layman like Yours Truly. The closest I have been to a medical issue was administering first aid during my days as a Boy Scout at Primary school many aeons ago. That’s why it would be imprudent to bash the EFA and call them to account right now because the circumstances leading to this disqualification of the team in PE is shrouded in a lot of controversy as it is. Eswatini was threatened with a protest before the game against South Africa. Two teams from each group in the tournament have been disqualified. The remaining team is the all-too-powerful host country, South Africa, which also houses the organisers, COSAFA offices; Angola pours millions of oil money into COSAFA through buying television rights for the tournaments and so does Zambia, the last host of the COSAFA Under-20 in December last year then lest we forget the powerful Malawi’s FA president, McMillan Walter Nyamilandu is a member of FIFA’s Council. All these coincidences are just too good to ignore.

In retrospect it will do the EFA more good than harm to pursue their appeal against the decision to get to the bottom of the matter. They cannot just let sleeping dogs lie. Their credibility and standing is under threat. They must go for it or raise their hands to admit the blunder.

Cheating

As a nation we expect no less from the people entrusted with governing our number one sport. Cheating, in whatever form, cannot be condoned. I am glad, if not overtly proud, that the Minister of Sports, Culture and Youth Affairs, Harries ‘Madze’ Bulunga has also woken up from his long slumber to closely scrutinise this issue which has caused us irreparable damage and embarrassment. This nation wants an explanation but it is also important that we give the EFA time to pursue its appeal and also do its own introspection and investigations on the matter. If CAF upholds its decision then the Ministry has to deal decisively with the EFA. It is about time they do so because cheating, in whatever form, cannot be condoned. Most importantly, ‘Madze’ Bulunga, as a Minister of Sports, has to show more interests on why we have failed to make any progress in football 52 years after Independence. It is time to be pro-active, not re-active Mr Minister. Otherwise with three years left in your term of office, I wonder what legacy you would leave. What really would you be proud of? The same question could be posed to our long-serving EFA president Adam ‘Bomber’ Mthethwa and his band of merry men. This COSAFA age-cheating issue presents ‘Bomber’ and his men with a chance to redeem themselves.

We are choking. We can’t breathe!

Boss of Me (BOM) let me have another round.