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To my wife: I did it all for you

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Dear Wife,

You know that I’m not the kind of a man who will go around having sex with every woman who falls for my charms; you know me very well I’m just not that type or the kind of a man who will go to shisa nyama to have supper or stay at the bar till 3am.


 I’m totally not that man but now I have to do these things just because I don’t want to fight with you. In fact, I use to hate men who did that; I used to wonder how a family man could do that.
Was he out of his mind or was the devil at work? Now I understand why most married men do these things, which put their lives and the ones they love in danger.


 It has been six and a half months now without us being intimate, I know you have your reasons; you said you are tired or you just don’t feel like it and my wife I don’t want to lie, I hate arguing with you because I end up sleeping on the sofa.


Change


You are one woman who stands by her words and I love you for that but sometimes it annoys me, especially when you shout, “NO! I don’t want to have sex with you” because I know that you really mean it and there’s nothing I can say or do to change your mind.
We matured men don’t like to argue or fight, especially if we know we won’t win.


This is the reason I then decided to go sleeping around; I didn’t want to fight with you.
I did it all for you. I should have held on or gone to the pastor for some counselling and maybe try the hand job (the ministry of health guys claim it helps a lot). 
Three months was all I could manage before I started sleeping around. I didn’t have the courage to share my bedroom secret with another man, who in this case was our pastor.


Wrong


I felt it was and still is none of his business. I know what I did was wrong but I couldn’t stay for six months without it.
As if refusing to have sex wasn’t enough, you started complaining about cooking. I knew then that I had to start making a plan for food. I started cooking.
You would sometimes come home from work to find supper prepared and you loved it. Just when I thought everything was coming alright you developed another habit, which was to come home late.


Gobble


Whenever you got home you would find dinner ready and you would gobble it down and then go straight to bed.
As usual there was nothing I could say or do to change your behaviour as every little argument turned into a fight.  For the first two weeks I thought it was deadlines but when the third month passed I couldn’t bare it so I joined those guys who eat kashisa nyama.


My wife, there are some ladies who also shisa nyama whom we get along with and you can guess what used to happen after ‘shisaring’ the meat.
As if going for three months without intimate relations or a proper home cooked meal wasn’t enough you started sleeping on the sofa. You claimed that I was snoring and you couldn’t have a peaceful sleep.
I wondered, how is it that you can no longer take it after we have been married for five years, three months, three days, three hours and three minutes.


Enjoying


This is what has led me to enjoying the company of beautiful ladies at the bar; drinking until 3am. I didn’t want you to sleep on the couch or catch the flu.
I knew if I was out all night you were going to go back to our bed but you didn’t do as I planned.


I was very happy to come home on the seventh month to find a proper meal in the microwave, and you were back sleeping in our bedroom and you agreed to have sex with me and that day we were again happy together up until this morning when the doctor told us we were HIV positive and you claim I was the one who infected you, my wife I’m sorry. 


I say to you my wife I did it all for you I didn’t want to fight.

Your Caring Husband
Mr. I did it all for you.

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