COPING WITH PARENTS’ EXPECTATIONS

Sir,

Pupils experience extreme pressure. They can barely handle the academic burden, add to that parents’ expectations and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. Unfortunately, anxiety and stress have become a new norm for pupils.

Why do the closest people seem to be a source of extra stress? The answer is simple. You want to make them proud, and you think the only way to do it is to fulfill their understanding of success. Your happiness is their biggest concern, yet sometimes they look at it from a very different perspective than you. Moreover, parents often raise the bar too high for their kids, making it nearly impossible for them to match up to these standards. Reputation, career, family life – all of it causes extra stress and makes pupils sick of trying to fit in.

Stress and failure to live up to someone’s expectations often affect our self-esteem. We forget to admit and recognize how good we are. This deprives us of the feeling of worthiness and belonging. At the same time, it distorts our self-esteem. You are good enough for everything you do. Your parents love you the way you are. When they insist on something or picture your success in a certain way, it does not mean they don’t value you as a person at that very moment.

Recognise your strengths, talk positively about yourself and increase your self-esteem. Your dedication and what you think of yourself really matter if you want to cope with stress. Sometimes parents are harsh because they know what life with no higher education means. Or they experienced poverty and don’t want this fate for you. That’s why they may have certain expectations that are hard to live up to. Try to understand their background and life experiences. They want all the best for you and they will be glad to see you happy and successful. It might differ from how you see your happiness and success now, but they don’t want anything bad to happen to you. Sometimes communication is the best way to handle stress. Talk to your parents when they are relaxed and in a good mood. Explain your needs to them and make sure they don’t get offended by the things you say. It is important to keep talking about your feelings if you want them to understand you.

Sometimes it’s not your parents and their expectations that cause your stress. If your own expectations are too high, this might be a reason for anxiety and dissatisfaction. Don’t be too hard on yourself. If you are already doing your best, let some time pass and you will see the result. In addition to fixing your parents’ vision of your success, you can also help yourself by improving time management. Ideally, your day should be balanced between you-time and your academic commitments. If studies take most of your day, there is nothing good about it. Plan your duties and assignments but make sure you leave some time to enjoy your hobby or meet with friends, or go hiking once in a while. No one is happy if they keep doing things that get them even more stressed.

Samanvya

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