EVAPORATING MARRIAGES

Sir,
 
Basically, there are two types of wrestling rings. You have the square one with an open top with a pole on each corner with two ropes around it and the cage type, which is an enclosure.
Normally in a wrestling match, in the open ring, one of the wrestlers can get a breather if the beating is too much. Some even abandon the fight. If is an enclosure, the only room for escape, the door, is locked until a winner emerges.

Perception

I have taken time to study marriages in modern times and see a correlation between people’s perception of marriage and wrestling rings. Too many married people have the mentality of an open wrestling ring and that is one of the main reasons for the increasing rate of divorce. Commitment is rapidly evaporating from marriages. There is no room for perseverance, patience, forgiveness, dialogue and understanding. The question to ask is, if their marriage were a cage, would these people’s perception and actions be the same or they would go an extra mile to ensure that their marriage succeeds? Again, do these people know the rivers, valleys and mountains some of the successful and celebrated marriages had to overcome to get to their destination?

Sacrifices

Also, I look at the effort and sacrifices people put in to get to the pinnacles of their careers or build successful businesses, if half that effort was put into marriage, the story would be different. For those who follow Christian marital vows to the letter, divorce and re-marrying are no option. When there is a family decision to be taken, you will consult your spouse to reach a conclusion. In situations where you want to have your way, you will carry your spouse along, to avoid problems. When you do have your way, always be magnanimous in victory. Do not rub it in. Few marriages can survive the acrimony that would ensue. In life, there are fundamental and there are trivial matters. In marriage, you must define the things that are important to you, those that go to the root of your core values, those you cannot easily shift ground on. Thereafter, you take it easy on all other issues.
Also, know the things that are important to your spouse and learn to take them as important. It solidifies marriage and indeed all relationships. It can be very painful and annoying when your spouse trivialises what you consider sacred. Mutual respect is key in marriage. Spouses must always accord each other respect; this respect should extend to the extended families. In ending, always dialogue, dialogue and dialogue.

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