WHY ARE SAME NAME MARRIAGES TABOO?

Sir,

Love knows no boundaries is a statement often used across the globe but to what extent does this notion stretch. Many people still frown at the idea of getting married to someone of the same last name as themselves and to many African countries same-name marriage is to this day still often labelled as taboo.

Can someone help me fathom the notion behind the tradition of same last name unions being labelled as taboo? I understand generations back having the same last name was often seen as being related and off spring from siblings were known to have medical issues or suffer from a particular disability therefore, for many African cultures in ancient history same-name unions were opposed because of the school of thought that it would lead to weakness in reproduction of off spring. However, in a generation that now allows marriage between cousins (within the family/ closely related by blood) this reasoning has lost its ground and therefore can be labelled as premature. If cousins who are closely related by blood can get married, why can persons who are complete strangers (not related by blood) not marry just because of a name in common? Is this reason enough to break a genuine bond between two people?

Perhaps, as I continue to try and fathom the notion, labelling same last name unions as taboo was a shield to prevent incest for ‘abo khokho’. Bear in mind that communities were small, therefore the possibility of someone who has the same last name as yours being directly related to you were high. However, communities of grown, last names have been polluted and people can have the same last name in common and not be related!

Troubled 

For those still troubled by the idea, in this day and age there are other ways couples of the same last-name can make sure they are not closely related by blood. For instance same name couples can compare family tree/DNA to see if the is an ancestor shared in recent history and rule out any relations. 

However, it’s refreshing to see other African countries lift the stigma of same last-name unions being taboo. Since 2016 Jamaica has seen more than 125 Jamaicans walk down the aisle with a partner that shares their last-name. In 1997 South Korea ruled couples with the same family name can now get married, prohibiting marriage only between man and women who are closely related, ending a taboo that existed and limited many for years. In Zimbabwe, Ndebele culture same last name couples traditionally pay what is called ‘chekehukama’ translating to breaking of any links between two people and are permitted to marry if they are not related by blood.

The tradition of labelling same last-name unions as taboo infringes on the freedom of choice in marriage. Majority of the public’s concept of marriage has changed from one of ‘a union between families’ to one of ‘a union between persons’ reflecting the respect for one’s free will and right to pursuit of happiness and freedom of choice in marriage. The kingdom is very small country with dominate last names, the major one being Dlamini with not much diversity across the landscape and I think it’s safe to say, unions of same last-name among dominate last-names are more likely to surface should the taboo be ever lifted and souls are allowed to roam freely.

Nosipho

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