SURVIVORS DESERVE TO LIVE!

Sir, 

Being a survivor is not equivalent to living your life. As survivors of abuse, neglect or traumatic stress, we all know this. People who don’t live in chronic survival mode, don’t understand what it’s like. As an outsider, who lives a healthy, happy life, they give advice that makes it sound so easy. “You need to put the past behind you, and move on.” That’s honestly one of the most difficult things to do when you are a survivor. If you suffer from P.T.S.D. or anxiety, or chronic depression, it is typically due to something that happened in your past. Sufferers of mental illness typically have a past that won’t leave them alone, so it is exceedingly challenging to put your past behind you, and to push forward into a healthy happy life.

There is a significant difference between surviving and living. What is surviving? I am a survivor of bad relationships, bad decisions and a dark family history. These experiences will never stop teaching me lessons, and I try, daily, not to allow them to define me. Survival is about maintenance. It’s about checking your mental health on a daily basis to see what you are capable of achieving.

Allowing 

It is also about allowing yourself to accept that getting out of bed and filling the day is reasonable. Small accomplishments like getting dressed and out the door are a huge step, and you are okay with that. Your goals may be more menial than those who ‘live’, but since you are in survival mode, you are comfortable with that. Survival mode typically lacks ‘change’. Routine is your comfort zone, and transitions make you anxious. You are content with being a creature of habit and not allowing anyone or anything to make you feel. You live in a world where ‘feeling’ is dangerous, so you block out the world.

What about living? Living is about challenges. Life is full of things that challenge us, everyday. Maybe it’s a new position you are applying for, or a marriage proposal, or getting a new home or car. These are all a part of living your life, rather than surviving through it. Change is embraced, rather than feared. You can comfortably reach beyond your comfort zone, without fear or anxiety. Living is trying, experiencing, tasting, hearing, seeing and adapting. Living your best life happens when everything makes you feel and you can handle the good, the bad and the wonderful without apology to yourself or others. When you live an enriched life, you surround yourself with others who enjoy being a part of it. You allow the world to enter your life, and your life to enter the world.

Darkness

As a survivor of bad relationships as a teenager, and a young adult, I am striving to live an enriched life. Some days, my heat is beyond full and I feel blessed to be alive and to be where I am. Other days, the darkness of the past, and all its lessons, come creeping in, and survival mode kicks-in. With that said, I try. I try to live by trying new experiences and stretching beyond my comfort zone. Sometimes that could mean travelling to a new country, or being exposed to new circumstances. I remind myself that the people in my past, and what they have done to my inner network of emotions does not define me. Again, some days are much easier than others. I am done being a simple survivor and I yearn to have happiness, successes and joys, like others have. Some days, however, I am content with getting up, taking a bath and putting clothes on. However, I have to admit that it can be a bit tricky balancing act between the two ends of the spectrum.

Choosing to have a life ‘in spite’ of what you have been dealt is survival. Living a life because of what you have endured, is living. Using the knowledge of the lessons you have learned from surviving to better your life, is what quality living is all about. Think of the men and women who go on survival games, for their own personal growth. 

Needs

They are choosing to make sure they have all of the basic needs, in order to survive; food, shelter, water, clothing. That’s it. That’s all you need to survive. They don’t have companionship or luxuries, and they stay alive by finding their own way, just to wake up the next morning to do it again. The irony of this, is that these people are actually living their dream of being survivors. 

They live their lives with goals, dreams and vocations. They challenge themselves to get uncomfortable, to feel alive. Survivors, in real life, dream of living. Survivors like us would never dream of trying to be ‘uncomfortable’. Uncomfortable is our forte.

We all deserve a happy, loving, healthy life filled with memories and milestones. We are entitled to enjoy life to its full extent and to embrace everything it has to offer. We have so much in our lives that encourages growth, happiness and new experiences. We look forward to making memories surrounded by friends and family we are blessed with. We can also appreciate that some days will be wonderful ‘life’ days and others will be ‘survival’ days. Feeling is a part of being alive, and being alive, is what living truly is. We are survivors, we deserve to live.

Brand Shota

 +27782878303

Post your comment

Your name:

Your e-mail address:

Add your comments:

Please enter the code you see in the image:

Image:

Code: