LIFE HAS NO OPERATION MANUAL

Madam, 

Why do we make decisions that our future selves so often regret? It is fascinating to think that in every stage of our lives we plan and make these decisions that will profoundly influence the lives of who we will eventually become, and when we do not become the people we thought and decided we could be we get disappointed. 

We have young people who dropped out of school because they believe that you don’t need education to be successful. We also have young people who rushed into marriage only to find out it is not the land of milk and honey and they are now divorcing.  There are adults who spent money tattooing their bodies while it seemed cool when they were teenagers and now that they are old they wish they could remove all the ink from their bodies. The list goes on and on.  

The reason why we tend not to be thrilled by the decisions we make is that life has no operation manual and as such we lack the art of following our dreams.  

I have had very thought-provoking interactions in so many levels with mostly young people and they always tell me they have role models. I personally have a problem with people who have role models. Not to say it is wrong to have a role model, but I always get concerned on what becomes of you when your role model errs and falls from grace? There are some people who even worship their role models and can’t even imagine life without them. The danger in looking up to someone is that you tend to think success is an overnight thing. Most successful people will tell you hard work pays but they will never tell you other privileges and luck that helped them through. So, everyone’s story that might appear as overnight success is actually a result of what they’ve done over a lengthy period.

genuinely

We are all surrounded by people who care and genuinely want to help whenever we come screaming for help, but I have noticed that it is easier to offer advice than it is to offer practical help. Yes, people will offer their opinions on anything, but the decision-making process heavily rests on you. Someone can tell you ‘take this road; it will lead you to the right destination’. However, they won’t tell you that the road ahead is bumpy and you have to meander through hills.  Along the road you’ve been told to take, there are things you have to pick yourself, there are decisions you need to make on your own. In that journey, no one has the perfect answers for you.

Most of what happens is a consequence of our actions. 

You can draw your life path down, but the reality is that a lot can possibly go wrong, so it is advisable that you see everything as your fault. For most people, it is easy to blame others when something goes wrong. When you shift blame, you are also shifting your dream away from you. It is like the dream was not yours in the first place. 

May I encourage you to celebrate every right step you make in life and learn from every step that made you trip. 

Phika

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