DEAR PARENTS

Sir,

To clearly understand the topic at hand, it is advisable to define the term itself. According to the Oxford dictionary, mental health;’’one’s emotional well-being with reference to their outlook on life and their coping mechanisms with the many difficulties that life comes with”.

Although my subtitle was in regards to children, some of you may not have children of your own but you are most likely to be acquainted with relatives that look up to you as parents like nieces and nephews, even cousins.

Everyday we read a newspaper headline that deals with someone killing someone else. A boy killing his girlfriend, a husband killing his wife and children, students killing themselves in relation with their school lovers and so on. The stories themselves are utterly shocking but what appalls us the most is the age group in which these stories originate. The population in teenagers is drastically decreasing and it is not because they are crazy or possessed by “demons”, it is because they have nobody to talk to.

Problems

Problems that teenagers face these days are hard for you adults to process and understand because your usual siSwati anthem is “tsine nasikhula bekute letintfo lenikhalangato. Niyabusa nine.”

That phrase can be loosely translated as ;when we were growing up, we never had the problems you children deal with, you are just too privileged.But here’s the painful truth of the matter respected people, when you were growing up, there was no cyber bullying, body shaming, social media, privacy and independence. We are in different eras. Growing up in the rural areas where the only stress was collecting firewood and fetching water cannot possibly have the same negative effects as growing up in the 21st Century where everyone says whatever they want, whenever they want.

Something that adults need to understand is that, every single word you utter has an effect, whether negative or positive, especially if the person you’re talking to is a teen, regardless of the gender. Words are a very powerful force, take for instance, the words you are reading in this article, surely you are affected in some way, whether it is annoyance, anger, confusion,still, you are affected.

Request

My request is simple and fair. Open yourselves up to your teens. Some of them cannot talk to you adults because you judge too quickly and you expect your teen to always be okay. They might look okay but their minds have tossed to something dangerous.

People don’t commit suicide because they are bored, it is because they feel alone and they are tired of feeling like a burden to whoever they, are around. You could save your teens mind and life by merely asking them if they are alright. Remind them you are there always and they must not be afraid to talk at any time. Availing yourself is a very crucial aspect to your teen because it will give you time to understand them and everything they are going through.

Teenagers have so much to deal with, and sometimes they don’t realise it up to the point where they cannot cope with everything whether physically, emotionally and most importantly mentally. Hug your teen once in a while, tell them you love them, inspire them because you’ll regret it when they are no longer there.

Dear adults, I plead once more, be there for your children, because your mentality towards your children can change the mentality towards themselves.
Some of you adults might feel that your teen is acting spoilt when they throw tantrums and deliberately disobey you. That always isn’t the case. One thing you must know. Teens need attention.    So, imagine if you neglect them, the one person that is supposed to be there through thick and thin. If your child can’t talk to you, someone they have known their whole lives, where on earth do you expect them to go?

Temalungelo Lethukuthula Malaza

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