LIVING WITHOUT YOU

Sir,

If there is one thing definite in life it is that we are all going to die, although we do not carry that thought with us every day. Getting the news that someone we know or closer to us has passed on, also reminds us that life is such a fragile thing and it has to be appreciated daily.

We are encouraged to plan our lives like we are going to live forever, which explains why we see ourselves going to college, getting employed, getting married and ultimately bringing children to this world. Those who have and love their children will tell you that parenting is such a fulfilling experience. Well, since I haven’t fathered anyone yet, I wouldn’t know.

Parenting

It seems like parenting has become a crisis in that when you have had the privilege to be brought up by both your loving parents, the moment the universe decides to take one – or even both of them – away from you, for most people their whole world crumbles. We all have different backgrounds which made us who we are today but I always get a little concerned when someone always says things like, “If my parents were still alive, things would have been better.”

Complain

Of course your mother or father was everything to you, but they passed on and life has to continue for you. Young adults who forever complain that their human supporting structures were taken from them tell me one thing; that their parents didn’t do a great job in teaching their children how to live without them. Someone might say this in insensitive, but the reality is that many young people’s success is blocked by complaints and tears of if-my-mother-was-still-alive-I-would-be-a-better-person. This is a big problem.

Let me share this story: A woman came to a certain business and politely asked to see the manager. She presented her story and said she was seeking employment for her 21-year-old daughter who had been stuck at home since finishing school. The manager asked, “Where’s your daughter?” to which she replied, “She’s at home.” And the manager continued; “So you mean to tell me that your daughter doesn’t see the need to wake up and go job-hunting?
Even if you would get her the job, let me tell you that she will not add value to any business because she doesn’t see the need to wake up and look for employment.” This manager had a point.

Raising

So, if you have children you need to ask yourself if you’re raising them in such a way that they will be able to face the world on their own, or you are raising children who will have their lives punctuated with a lot of ‘ifs’. Every parent must know that they need to teach their children to be able to live without them.

Nhlangano

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