CHOOSING A MARRIAGE PARTNER

Sir,

Many of us aspire to get married without taking time to understand what it really entails to get married. Out of excitement, loneliness or status, we seek who to marry. Marriage is so powerful that it can positively or negatively alter the rest of your life. So be wise before you say ‘I do’.

On issues of finding a marriage partner we must of necessity be wise because we are going to spend the rest of our life with that person. Do not be deceived; just because you love this person does not mean you should overlook certain things about them. If you do, you will regret it.

Wisdom is very key in making any relationship work; foolishness is a destroyer. Before you marry anybody, ask God for wisdom. You must have quality insight into the true nature of the person you are planning to marry.

Protection

To fall in love and stay in love, you need more than love; you need to be wise because wisdom is your defence and protection. There are important things apart from love that must be considered before you decide to marry someone.

Due to the fact that whosoever you marry has the potential to enhance or hinder your destiny, it is imperative that you be careful when choosing. Preparation is key to a successful marriage life. We must be morally, emotionally, physically, financially and mentally ready. This means that we must get disciplined in all these areas before marriage.

We must get information about spiritual health, emotional health, mental health, financial stability and even issues of ethics, values and standards. Wisdom demands that we make some deliberate effort to use all available resources at our disposal to prepare for marriage.
We must read books and attend seminars where issues of relationships and marriage are being taught. When looking for a marriage partner, always remember this:
1)     Know who you are and where you are going in life.
2)     Avoid disastrous connections:
l     Emotionally unhealthy people who are incapable of long-term, unselfish committed relationships.
l     Avoid people who are incapable of learning the art of healthy communication.
l     Avoid people who are incapable of dealing with problems, conflicts and differences.
l     Be careful of people who embrace bad habits and are not willing to change, e.g. lies, manipulation, rude, irrational, inconsiderate and deeply selfish.
3)     Be the right person so that you can get the right partner.

4)     Learn how to quickly end a relationship that is going nowhere in order to avoid hopes and false expectations. False hopes and expectations may usually create emotional bonding to a certain extent, which may cause unnecessary pain when the relationship is finally broken.

The more you prolong a wrong and unworkable relationship the more difficult it becomes for you to break it. You finally end up marrying someone you know you should not have married in the first place.

Careful

It is actually a waste of precious time to keep a relationship you know won’t work. Why should you really be careful about who you marry?
This is because if you get yoked to someone who is incompatible with your purpose in life, it will limit the speed in which you move in life.

Nevertheless, even when you find the right partner, you still have to work the laws and principles that govern a healthy marriage relationship in order to maximise the benefit of marriage.

C S

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