‘THE OTHER WOMAN’

Sir,
 
For every philandering man, there exists the other woman. Few are the times we get to hear from the other side of the infidelity coin. Most of the ‘other’ women usually have interesting sides to their story. “One does not choose to be the other woman, at least I did not. We work together for the same company and he persistently pursued me till I gave in,” they may say.

First it’s a no-strings attached kind of relationship, where she gets all the attention but his wife plays the serious roles such as worrying where he spent the night and making him look good for her.

For many women who step into the role of the other woman, terms and conditions are set. They are aware of what’s being offered, and it’s no surprise to them when their so called boyfriend ensures he tags along his best friend just in case they are spotted. They are usually no stranger to this, they never go out as a couple, unless in a private place.

The arrangement is quite reasonable for her, but for how long? Could she keep up?
Of course she couldn’t care because she knows she will never fall for him. He is only good for material things and dinner, right? Wrong! The power she always thinks she has starts to diminish; at first she’s obviously not aware of it.
Before she knows it, she has fallen in love and she knows she has to leave, but it’s always hard to let go of any type of relationship because there is a lot put to it. She starts telling the wife, ‘keep the ring, I’ll keep the man’.

Most people believe that when ladies forget their place and fall for the married man, things go wrong. In actual fact, things go wrong the moment he starts flirting with another woman, whether he’s married or in a relationship, it’s wrong! But I will not dwell on that, the person who has the real power to stop anything from developing into infidelity is the other woman.

It all starts with respecting yourself enough to not want to be made ‘the other woman’, to respecting  the man’s wife, first as a human being, and secondly as the rightful companion to the man. It is for that reason that he will never leave his wife for ‘the other’ woman, it seldom materialises. And if he does leave his wife, I don’t think any sane being would live with the guilt knowing too well that you took a part of him that he sincerely loved.  Who can afford to carry the home wrecker tag for life?

Mbuli N

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