IF INTOXICATED, YOU CAN’T CONSENT

Sir,

We live in a world that is full of individuals who we cannot control. I hope we all know that the way a woman chooses to dress is never the cause of a sexual crime committed against her, meaning that she is not the instigator of that crime, the criminal is.

But if we want to protect women from rape, we should not be teaching these women that it is their fault that they got raped, we should be teaching men not to rape. In the same way, it is important for women to know that they live in a world where sexual predators exist, and these predators often treat women aggressively who dress in a certain way.

I know that men aren’t these helpless sexual beasts who go crazy when a certain amount of skin is revealed, I am not saying a woman’s dress attracts rapists either, I have talked to women enough to know and hear first-hand how scantily dressed women are treated by bad men. And I know how often these men use alcohol as an excuse.

Rape by definition, means having sex with someone when you don’t want to do it. If you don’t want it, then you can’t ask for it. If a woman dresses a certain way, it’s because she wants to, it doesn’t give anybody the right to rape her just because of that.

I do agree that there are things people could do to decrease the chances of getting raped and some women don’t do those things, but it still doesn’t mean anybody has the right to rape her or blame her for it. If you’re intoxicated, you brain isn’t working right, so you can’t consent to anything, even if you say yes. So no, it’s not the victim’s fault that she was raped; it’s the pathetic man who did such a cruel thing to her who’s to blame.

Women aren’t ignorant about safety; we hear this all the time. Don’t drink, don’t go out at night, don’t dress like that and don’t have sex. None of these things guarantee that you’ll be safe. Rape is not something that just happens to women who don’t behave as you think they should. It isn’t about someone getting the wrong impression, and it isn’t about someone just being too sexually charged to control themselves. To focus attention on what the victim could and ‘should’ have done is to take attention away from who is really at fault; the rapist.

I hope that the people who are meant to protect us from criminals stop insinuating that we asked for it by saying we should have dressed better or stayed at home.

Mbuli N

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