SUCCUMBING TO SOCIAL PRESSURE

Sir,

 Any kind of forced social interaction is sure to heighten tension, which increases exponentially when romantic mischiefs are involved. Pitch a few glasses of alcohol in there and you have a recipe for fireworks, and no, not the sexy kind. I was at a party on New Year’s Eve and as midnight approached, everyone started moving around closer to potential suiters. That’s one of the problems with this fantasy, it throws pre-existing social dynamics out of the radar.

You never know whose lips you’ll end up next to, and hard as you may try, you could find yourself staring into the eyes of someone you would never be caught dead kissing. A friend of mine once found herself at the same party as her ex-boyfriend, and it so happened that when the countdown happened, they were standing next to each other. When the clock struck midnight, the pressure of locking lips with someone, anyone really, got the best of them and they kissed. An act they both regretted the rest of the year, and the year was just starting.

I know how social pressure can compel people to do things they’d regret later, and succumbing to any pressure at all can suck the life out of a person. It is widely believed that for couples, neglecting locking lips at midnight could mean bad luck for the rest of the relationship – and for singles, a kiss could mean good luck. Whether you’re part of a couple or more of a lone wolf, stress can emerge anew with midnight kisses. If you’re afraid of being alone forever, lacking a partner only adds to that dreadful feeling. If you do have a partner but aren’t feeling the best about your relationship, the pressure can make you want to chug a bottle of wine.

Popular culture has taken it into a whole new level; it has led us to believe that we need this midnight kiss in order to be happy, at least in the moment. And the unfortunate thing is that almost everyone is exposed to popular culture through such things as social media, that they can’t escape many of its propaganda. My letter is directed at everyone who always feels socially awkward around this time of the year – it is not the end of the world.

These things never live up to expectations anyway. Sure you may find your Prince Charming or Cinderella on December 31, but in all likelihood you’ll be struggling through a heap of cheap champagne or collapsing onto the couch in exhaustion. More often than not, the night will be just fine - but a bright, sparkling fantasy? Nope. There’s only one thing that could be a bigger set-up for disappointment: scheduling a forced moment of romance to cap off the night!

Nomsa M

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