BEING A LADY IS A CHOICE

Sir,

Being a female is a matter of birth, being a woman is a matter of age but being a lady is a matter of choice. Being a female does not guarantee that a girl will grow up to be a lady and the current self-absorbed culture is not likely to model or promote the qualities of a lady.

It is a process for a girl to become a woman and develop to a lady. Parents invest a great deal of time and resources to develop their daughters academically with little or no thought as to what is required for her to mature into a lady.

A lady understands that her appearance, behaviour and way of communicating provide us with valuable insight into her character. She knows that her true beauty is not acquired at the make-up counter, with a new outfit or by following the latest Hollywood trend.
Rather, she understands that her real strength is not found in trying to be like a man, but rather in being gracious, thoughtful, kind, intelligent, self-assured and poised.

A lady is generous with her time, wisdom and resources, she is a woman of her word and she follows through with her commitments. A real lady knows and fights to follow, abide her principles no matter how hard it can be. A lady fights for what she wants, uproots what needs to be uprooted in order to get what she wants.

A real robust lady shouldn’t care about what people say or think of her, she does what she has to do to survive, in a positive way though. A lady willingly serves others and extends a hand to those in need. She manages her priorities and time well, understanding that she can only serve others after she has taken care of herself.

A lady is well mannered and knows what is appropriate. She is able to navigate various social and professional settings with ease and proficiency. She embraces all people - those from other cultures as well as individuals from various social and economic backgrounds.
A lady knows how to select clothing that is modest, age appropriate, within her budget and perfect for the occasion. She is well groomed, practises good hygiene and maintains her health.

She understands that her personal appearance - the way she chooses to dress, groom and carry herself - communicates instantly to others who she is. A lady is well spoken and a generous listener. She knows how to effectively connect with others and communicate her message. Her words are kind and free from gossip, she is gracious and inclusive.

A real woman is honest and upfront. She recognises the destructiveness behind undisclosed expectations. She is straightforward and respectful about setting boundaries and the tempo of her relationships early on.
A real woman is strong and independent, she is determined, driven and able to accomplish great feats. Her ability to be so strong is derived from her own knowledge, intuition and ambition.

A real woman has defined purpose. Whether personally or professionally, she has great goals and desire. She knows that with the right amount of inspiration and motivation, anything is possible and is willing to do what it takes to make her dream a reality.

Nkosingphile NtshaliNtshali

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