HOW ARE YOU?

Sir,

How are you must be the most frequently asked question in my country. The only problem with it is people do not even wait for a response, and if they do, they are not listening!

Many have replaced the politeness of a greeting with this question. You say ‘good morning’ they answer ‘how are you’? Did someone, while teaching others public relations, inform them that it is correct to ask an unknown someone about their state of health?

It is my humble opinion that this is a very personal question. When anyone I don’t know asks me how I am I immediately ask how I can be of assistance. I don’t think it is right for me to divulge to an unknown someone intimate details about my health. Please do not think I am being egoistic. I don’t speak merely to make a noise; there must be a purpose for me to open my mouth.

The tone with which the question is asked will denote whether the person asking same is truly interested, or they are just going through the motions. At times the question is even asked just to assist the speaker overcome their insecurity, fear and discomfort. A call centre assistant asked me three times how I was and I ignored the question.

On the fourth time, you should have heard her tone and since she was being persistent I informed her that I had deliberately ignored the question prior and since this was the fourth time she was asking me, I felt I should inform her that I found this question had absolutely nothing to do with the business at hand and she should have been fully present in our discussion to realise that I had elected not to answer same.

I pondered whether crash courses given to interns sufficiently prepare them for the work they are to undertake. One has only to endeavour to listen to how most telephonists answer business calls to realise that they are in a rush; they rattle on in a monotonous tone, thus making it difficult to comprehend what is being said; there is no punctuation in their speech and then, try listening to see if you can even hear the name of the business or the name of the person speaking. I then wonder am I going to receive assistance from someone who appears to have their energies all over the place.

What many should awaken to is the reality that they are enough. They are rendering a service; they have a right to be there; merely listening to someone who has approached them for assistance is in itself a blessing; they must not anticipate and think they know what will be asked; asking people about their state of health certainly does not make the speaker ‘friendlier’, listening does.

The world would be a much better place if we all just took time to listen. It is only courteous and polite to listen when another is speaking, it makes for a less stressed discussion and since there are no accidents in life and everything happens for a reason, one may even connect with someone on a much higher level. Remember, we are all students and teachers here. It is always those we have yet to meet who will change our lives for the better!

(Comments: My FB page; www.inalda.co.sz; inaldathegreat@gmail.com)
Inalda Jorge-Antonio

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