ARE THEY HAPPY IN THEIR MISERY?

Sir,
               
I posted on Facebook about a trip I had decided to undertake in a kombi (public transport) from town to my home, as my vehicle was undergoing repairs. A friend commented saying ‘certain people are just happy in their misery’.  As I ponder over everything I pondered over this.

An elderly lady had boarded the kombi and once passengers started to disembark, the conductor requested, very politely, that she move to a seat where she would not have to get up constantly. The elderly lady complained and said she had problems with her knees and generally complained about having to move despite the assurances by the conductor that would facilitate her ride to her destination.

She eventually stood up and followed the directives. This took some time and to my dismay no one in the kombi uttered a word. I pondered over this and wondered, was this lady so set in her ways that even logic evaded her? Could ego have had something to do with her responses, or did she feel that because she was older, she knew better? Could she be so accustomed to complaining that she did not even notice she was complaining?

Someone confided in me about the hurdles she was encountering and upon me stating that she should focus on all the positive aspects of her life, so as to create a shift in her thoughts and feelings, she responded that it was just impossible for her to change her thoughts in order to change her life. Needless to say if one changes nothing in a formula, one will continuously get exactly the same results irrespective of the number of times one carries out the same experiment. For if one wants a different result, one has to be willing to do whatever it takes to change the situation.

I have found that when I change my perspective, everything changes. I wondered whether this person realised that it was her approach to life that had got her to where she was. 

Acknowledging that it was her choice was just out of the question. Everybody else was to blame, except her. As it was obvious this person was rigid, I had to acknowledge that irrespective of how difficult times were for her, she preferred to remain stuck in the familiar instead of venturing into the unfamiliar. Once again my friend’s words came to mind, could this person be happy in her misery? Could this be the reason she was not prepared to take advice?

Unless we learn to deal with a certain situation in our lives, it will keep coming back time and time again until we learn. We can never arrive in Grade V unless we have mastered what was taught in all the prior Grades. Life is exactly the same. We cannot keep confronting the same situations month after month and think that is normal. There is nothing normal about struggling with anything. One has to ponder on a solution and try something different. Venture into the unknown. Anything is better than maintaining the status quo.

 Have we become so rigid that we would rather die than accept advice to suggestions? All this resistance to what is, is what prevents us from progressing and finding love, peace and joy. All these are within each of us but so long as we seek them outside of ourselves they will evade us. We can never give what we do not already have within us, for to give love we have to feel love not only for others but for ourselves. To spread joy we have to feel it within us, for when we have it we radiate it throughout the spaces we occupy and to whoever touches our lives. Are you happy in your misery? Take a conscious decision to choose happiness! It is contagious! A candle loses nothing when it lights another...

(Comments: My FB page; inaldathegreat@gmail.com )
Inalda Jorge Antonio

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