She is back, she loves me

Good day everyone. It’s me again, Gogo on the WHYLESS. I thought I would freeze to death this week when temperatures dropped. I survived. Thanks to my blankets.

I am a happy Gogo today. The past week saw the return of my favourite WHYLESS announcer, Doris ‘Jersey No1’ Vilakati. I was so excited that I wet my bed. I cared less. Welcome back sikhutsali sami. I was getting worried that you had retired.

Unlike Mbongwa ‘Uncle Bonz’ Mhlanga who upon his return from ‘holidays’ needed time to settle, ‘Jersey No 1’ got into the thick of things and did what she knows best. You are a star. Thanks. I also read somewhere that ‘Jersey No1’ likes Gogo on the WHYLESS. I say praise the Lord for that. I also read that she feels I don’t criticise some WHYLESS announcers. I have no comment. However, it is worth mentioning that some announcers are allergic to criticism and I resolved it’s fair to let them be. I hate taking on gods. Amen.

I was taken down memory lane this week by the latest drama play called ‘Inhlupheko yesibili’. One of the characters’ voices was none other than the WHYLESS Boss who played the role of mkhulu. The drama play has been produced by Gideon Vilakati, who also provides the voice-over. I still adore his deep throat voice despite that he long departed.

For those who were not around during Gideon ‘Gidi’ Vilakati’s time, he used to broadcast and presented the programme ‘Tingo-ma Temakwaya Lamakhulu’. He used to challenge anyone to take his sticks and charge at him. Gidi olumavava.

I will not complain that the WHYLESS dug out an old drama play because I am sure they are doing it for the new ones who unfortunately think the WHY-LESS has just started broadcasting. I have my suspicions that Veli ‘Kofi’ Simelane is a Mbabane Highlanders supporter at heart. The way he melted when the new Highlanders goalkeeper made a save sold him away.

Everytime the Sibanda Ndodana did something on the field, ‘Kofi’ would scream; ‘Wemukelekile Ndodana’. I am not complaining. I hope one day he would say the same when my defunct Green Sea Bombers FC rise from the dead. Thanks.

Let’s get started

* As I have said, ‘Jersey No 1’ was back on the airwaves between 3pm – 8pm on Monday after a two months absence. I still wait to hear from her as to what caused such a lengthy absence because I missed her dearly.

* As expected, none of her colleagues ever mentioned where she was, which left me with more questions than answers. I enjoyed her energetic comeback especially her women’s day show on Monday.

* Her enthusiasm on her first day back on air was subject to errors and this is why I was not surprised when she told us we should brace ourselves for the short-version of the news bulletin at 3pm, while the clock at that time read 3:55pm. Although she did not apologise for the error, I was aware that she was still going through her rusty phase.

* Bongani ‘Bobo’ Dlamini was a cut above the rest this week when it came to his live update broadcast from Somhlolo National Stadium during the Charity Cup tournament on Sunday.

* It was for the first time that I heard the English Channel giving us good coverage of a football event, including the scores. ‘Bobo’ further combined well with Mfundo ‘Sportsman’ Khumalo at the end of the game as they conducted interviews with the winning and losing coaches after the final.

* For once I take my bra off for these two gentlemen, especially ‘Bobo’, with his football know- ledge and hope for something similar or better during the league opening next Saturday. However, ‘Bobo’ still owes me information on which team he supports locally or in the English Premiership which kicks off this afternoon. Thanks.

* Still on ‘Bobo’, it was also good to be with him during the Saturday and Sunday breakfast shows in the absence of Mbuso ‘Do it again’ Ntshingila. There was less jamming too. However, he still needs to improve on his news reading by rehearsing vigorously prior to going on air.

* After what seemed a good week from ‘Bobo’ he then spoilt it on Wednesday afternoon while hosting his 3pm - 8pm show. He decided to tell me what I must write on this column. He has never bothered to even greet me like he does with his chanas but instead wants to tell me how to do my job. I expect such only from the editor of this news- paper not him.

* I like the call in programmes but a faulty telephone line is not my problem but that of the WHY- LESS technicians. To inform us that the phone line was faulty was good enough and not to tell me what to write. You better focus on doing what you do best and I will do the same. Watch out for my lethal weapon (libhoko) if you continue with such a behaviour young man.

* ‘Do it again’ did it again on his ‘Reflections’ programme when he reflected on his past recorded programme specifically the one I complained about last week.

* He spoilt it for me yet again. I still do not understand the motive behind these repeats since he has also failed to come out with an explanation as to why he is keen on them. If he has run out of guests which could also be a shock, he should declare before I take out my lethal weapon. Uyangidzina yeNtshingila.

*l I was however, pleased that he hosted a great and unrepeated programme on ‘Fountain of Life’ on Sunday. He played good gospel music especially that of artists Kirk Franklin and Joyous Celebration. Thanks for the morning traffic updates but please try having them consistently.

* Ray ‘Boom Boom’ Dlamini disappointingly informed us that there was no ‘Khalamdu- mbadumbane’ on Sunday. I missed it but was pleased to hear it on Tuesday.

* Thanks for also rescuing the pastor after for some reasons he did not know which buttons to press after hosting a blessing programme. I also accepted the apology after you both went on air unintentionally.

* Sipho ‘Mnumzane’ Gamedze and Nathi ‘Prof’ Hlophe’s early hours’ topics have been informative and interesting to say the least. I also enjoyed their music especially as there has been no rock music and too much gospel from their play-lists.

* However ‘Mnumzane’ seems to continue with his copy cat style of Goodbyes which I once requested him to stop doing. I hope he will eventually listen. ‘Prof’, why have you stopped playing the song ‘Angiphiwe Bo’ I miss it? Thanks.

* Now it’s the time for my queen, Lindelwa ‘Lindz’ Mafa. She pleased me when she played me the R. Kelly’s song ‘Be my number two’. I was also looking forward to you hosting more guests at the studio besides the gentleman from the talent search affectionately known as Mozaik.

* Your music was as always great to listen to, not to forget the music play list from one Izzo, the one you told us was with you and was selecting the music. Please try giving us some traffic updates if you do not mind me asking. Thanks.

* Ntfombitanele ‘Ay’wena’ Motsa’s breakfast shows have been forcing a smile on my face and I liked it. I was also happy to hear her playing her own jingle and that of the station. However, her shows on Monday and Tuesday were let down by the guests that failed to pitch. However she managed to keep our spirit up with her choice of music which was less of her favourite ‘Sigubhu Samampela’ music.

* Sithembile ‘Supaphly’ Vilane was into breast feeding this week. I heard her hosting one programme where the topic was about baby milk sourced from mothers (us). I will be milking more tips from you to pass on to my grand- daughter when she gets to that stage.

* Please play me Eminem‘s song called Stan. Mbongwa ‘Uncle Bonz’ Mhlanga played it on Thursday at 4:28pm and I enjoyed it. Thanks.

* Speaking of ‘Uncle Bonz’, his topic on the joint was for the first time not about love affairs and I was tempted to participate. I am interested in knowing the Big Brother you were talking about.

* Don’t worry malume, I will find out the same way I did on the ‘411’ crew. I like your creative stunts. Bonzzzzz- zzzzzzzz.

* Thanks for playing that Jay Z song ‘Forever young’ and how I wish I could live forever young. I was disappointed when you phased it out while it had played a minute of its five minutes duration. I understood that it was due to the many scratches on the disc which resulted in abrupt stops while the song was playing. Please thoroughly clean the disc next time and play me the song again. I am pleased you remembered that I requested it. Thanks.

* Winile ‘Lobamba’ Dlamini read the lunch time brief news bulletin fairly well. Her only mishap was the few sentences in which she read, stopped and rehearsed quick before reading them again. Otherwise her reading is not bad and has room for improvement.

* I still enjoy her songs and thanks for the message of encouragement and advice you were giving to school pupils while they were writing exams. Now that schools are closed please advise them to behave. Thanks.

*‘Kofi’ and Moses ‘Triple M’ Matsebula also gave us a fair coverage during the Charity Cup. What impressed me the most was the fact that they managed to give live commentary of all the games played on the day.

* However, in the near future please have other football experts to give their analytical views of the proceedings. Please request ‘Sportsman’ to give us more time when he hosts his sport programme on the English Channel on Friday.

* Thembi ‘Billy Jean’ Hlophe and her guest Sibongiseni Mamba honoured women during the African Jazz sounds programme where they played various songs from female artists.

* How I wish she would have also included a woman as a guest because this is our month, I hope she will have such a guest soon. I still love you. Or still, GOGO would be ready to do it live with you. Thanks.

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