Respect is gone in SD

I have seen many changes in Swaziland in the last 30 years. To me, the biggest change is in the way people treat each other.

Like any other child, I would laugh at my gogo when she bemoaned the lack of manners shown by ‘the youth of today’.

This is not a new problem, as the ancient philosopher Plato wrote that the youth of his day were disrespectful to their parents, religion and societal norms. He wrote that over 2 500 years ago. However, I see a certain lack of respect in Swaziland that would be troubling to any society. The police do not respect civilians. Civilians do not respect the police. Nobody seems to have much respect for the law, or rules in general.

There are very few people who even know what business ethics are, and even fewer who practice them. Almost all the role models in society live lives of selfishness. Worst of all, the youth are not being taught modes of living which will help them – instead they are encouraged to behave in an anti-social way.

We all need the law. There has to be a set of rules, available to the public for consultation, which regulates our behaviour. This way people don’t fight like children when there is a dispute. Someone could get hurt.

So – rules. What many people seem to fail to realise is that rules do not just restrict people, but they empower people as well.

If one does not obey the rules of the road, one is not going to be able to drive very far without having an accident. Social relations are the same.

The way you treat others is the way they will treat you. So people who mind their manners, who follow social conventions, will get further in life. Rude behaviour simply consigns one to the bottom of society, no matter what their ‘status’ is. They will not be taken seriously.

Everyone wants to be taken seriously. Everyone wants respect. I was taught that respect should be earned, but I have another take on it: disrespect should be earned. If one treats all others with automatic respect, one will be respected themselves.

This is because treating people with respect means acknowledging their humanity, acknowledging that other people are important to you. It means never using violence, except in self-defence (and sometimes not even then – a student reporter was recently assaulted, but did not fight back as his attacker was a woman).

It means never behaving forcefully to those who are weaker than you are. Those people may be weaker now, but one day you will find that you need them.

The police have a special role in society. It is their job to protect the public. As servants of the public, the police need to treat everyone with respect. There have been too many stories of police ignoring complaints, and beating up people.

Who do these actions benefit? If the police ignore the public’s complaints, then the public will resort to vigilantism, thus making the job of the police harder.

If the police beat up everyone who comes to their stations then there is no point in being law-abiding anymore – we may as well all act as criminals. The point is, society is a two-way street – the way we behave affects all of us. The way your neighbour is treated affects you.

When you ignore abuses, you can be guaranteed that one day you will become a victim to them (notice the controversy in South Africa at the moment: Mbeki banned Zuma from broadcasting and is now tasting his own medicine). We are all connected.

One of the artists renovating the National Museum (Umsamo Wesive) had an unfortunate experience recently. A group of unsupervised high school pupils came in. One of the boys saw the model snake that the artist was working on, walked up to it and slapped it, thus breaking off the tail. This was in the National Museum, one of the places that safe-guard the country’s heritage and culture.

This is where foreign dignitaries are taken to get a glimpse of our heritage.

This little vandal didn’t even think. His normal view is obviously a disrespectful one. He did not even hesitate before striking something that did not belong to him, but to all Swazis.

This is a sad and dangerous attitude. Sad because it shows that we are failing to teach our children what is important in life. Dangerous because this boy’s generation will one day be running our country. We cannot simply hope that his attitude is unique.

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