TWO ARE BETTER THAN ONE II

Last week we unpacked two elements of why ‘two are better than one’, taken from the assertion made by King Solomon in Ecclesiastes 4:9-11.

We looked into the issue of loneliness and that in God’s design, marriage is meant to deal with loneliness. Husbands and wives are to enjoy companionship – no spouse should be bored in the presence of the other. Spending time together and having meaningful conversations must be cultivated in all marriages. Today, I wish to continue and unpack two other elements mentioned by King Solomon in elaborating why two are better than one. The wise King said if one falls down, the other helps, but it will be tough for the one who has no one to help. Life can be tough and full of twists and turns, it is the tough who often stand a chance of making it through the torrents of life.

Support

Tough in this context, is the support system in place and having someone to hold you up when things seem to be falling apart. In other words, you do not need to be tough for all situations but can certainly do with complementing each other – it is perhaps common to possess opposing qualities with your spouse. Where you are weak s/he will likely be strong, when ‘the chips are falling’ and you feel despondent, your spouse is to play the role of cheerleader and lift your spirits up.

Tragedy

It is a tragedy when spouses are unable to encourage and motivate each other, yet they are strategically placed to play that role. What a blessing to have someone who is devoted in ensuring your physical and emotional wellbeing, indeed, having a loving husband or wife is a setup for success. The stresses of losing a job, having a mean boss, ill-health, raising a misbehaving child, losing a close relative, are all better handled in a family where both spouses are there for each other. King Solomon further pities the one who does not have anyone to lift them up because it is almost a guarantee that life, one way or the other, will topple you. My prayer is that your marriage can serve as that safe space where all your anxieties and life hardships are eased – and you get rejuvenated to face whatever is challenging you.

No wonder King Solomon said two are better than one because they re-energise each other; I pity a couple who have turned against each other and are now toxic to each other, draining life out of the other. If that is the case in your marriage, seek help from qualified marriage counsellors. The other element Solomon advances is that two are better than one because they keep each other warm in bed. This assertion can be thought of in multiple facets, but we will limit our discussion to two, literally and metaphorically.

In the literal sense two people generate warmth when they are in very close proximity in a sleeping position. This is of course even more useful in cold nights, over and above blankets and bed covers, s/he who is married has someone to keep them warm. Your wife must not be subjected to cold when you are available as the husband. If this is the case in your marriage, you are not performing your duties well. One can also look at the metaphorical meaning of two keeping each other warm in bed – this can mean sexual relations between the two. The marriage bed must sexually service the husband and wife exclusively - both must be sufficiently serviced.

Deprive

The Holy Scriptures teach us that husbands and wives must not deprive each other of sexual intimacy, in other words your spouse is not to be subjected to sexual coldness when you are available. Unless for reasons beyond your control, like ill-health or any other reason, you must both agree to stop sexual intimacy and this must be for a short time then get back together. The Holy Scriptures have clear teachings regarding sexual relations between husbands and wives – it is better to get married than to be consumed by sexual desires.

King Solomon says ‘alone you will shiver all night’. It is this shivering that is dangerous to many, as it leads them astray. Lastly, by yourself you are unprotected, but with a friend you can face the worst. How true is it that your spouse is your number one defender? S/he fights alongside you not against you; s/he has your back protected not stabbing it; s/he becomes your advocate, fighting on your behalf. Even when your spouse passes on, the memory of this togetherness will keep you going – two are better than one. You can invite God to step in, He is the Father of the fatherless, the Husband of the widowed. Send comments to adminsec@mbac.co.sz

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