ANTI-SOCIAL COMPARISON

ONE cannot help but feel that the ‘dog eat dog’ competitive nature of the world we live in today is proving fertile fields for the sudden growth in development of the vast majority of the mental health disorders (and other related issues) we see these days. This competitiveness is rife in all areas of people’s activity, be it in academia, social lifestyles or in the pursuit of wealth; individuals are constantly seeking to ‘go one better’ than the next person in order to gain society’s recognition and respect. Frankly, this has  been a consistent design in the social fabric of societies past, however, the standards and implications of this were not previously as high.

What I feel deserves specific attention is the phenomenon that is borne out of this high competition for family and peer praise. So because we are in constant consistent competition with each in the aforementioned areas of our individual lives, it forces us as individuals into an equally consistent state of comparison and monitoring, especially of our peers. The aim of this is to then gauge ourselves, our possessions and our achievements with those of our peers in a process of deep self-evaluation. As you might imagine, this self-evaluation process is internal; meaning it happens in the individuals’ psyche which further means it has bearing on that particular individuals’ mental health or ill-health.

Comparing

“What does constantly comparing myself-who is not from the fanciest background to you someone my age who is from a family of ‘ample’ means, has a good job and drives multiple cars, have to do with my mental health?”, one may ask. Well, the response is ‘plenty’. First off, he or she (your peer) - because of their ability to afford, may already have some of the possessions you are still working twice as hard for in half the time. Due to that, all of a sudden they hold higher societal rank than you based on them gaining these possessions and upon self evaluation, you begin to draw conclusions about yourself with your peer (or friend) as the gauge. Most times, these conclusions are negative especially because you have to deal with the insecurity of feeling left behind or being an underachiever. Loss of confidence and belief in yourself is another mental health deficiency that may arise from this, not to mention the harrowing loss of self-esteem and emergence of self-doubt.

These self-negating thoughts are the ones that eventually mature into anxiety and depression episodes. They quickly develop into a heavy hindrance for your future progress as well, since you are filled with self-doubt and low confidence, it will stop you from starting that business or applying for that job, for instance. Emotionally as well, there will be some sort of effect. One might start to detach from family and friends in fear of being perceived as a ‘failure’ because they have not achieved or accomplished what most his or her age-mates have. Individuals may start to show flashes, withdrawal from emotional relationships with the opposite gender because of thoughts of feeling inadequate and insignificant by comparison to their ‘competition’.

Illusion

For most of our young lives, we are under the illusion that because we are in similar social institutions (schools, for instance) with certain people, that life-long paths will forever intersect at similar points and because of that, we strive to maintain a steady gaze at their progressions throughout life as a way of seeing how we personally are doing in life. This cannot be more inaccurate, however, this is silently a pitfall our generation especially, is failing to recognise. So instead of wasting your energy and focusing on someone else, invest in yourself, make yourself better and in the end, being yourself always wins. Kindly send comments to runsford0505@gmail.com.

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