TREAT HER WELL

Last week we spoke about not taking your spouse for granted and we highlighted two exclusive areas that tend to be ignored by husbands and wives over time.

Allow me to continue along that thought pattern by sounding a caution to husbands to treat their wives well. Good company is key in any journey or endeavor that you embark on – it can make the journey memorable or miserable. And the good thing about company is that you can get what you put in it. It is possible to be lonely in the company of a multitude because you have chosen to be a lone-ranger and to be insensitive to other people’s feelings and concerns. The same can be true for marriage – if one spouse chooses to keep to himself or herself, that marriage might be void of enjoyment.

Amazing

It is amazing how unselfish the conversations lovers have during the courtship period – if you were to ask the man some of his woman’s interest in life, he would recite them like they were his. Somehow, after marriage, the same man decides to have amnesia about her interests and concerns -   this tendency by husbands can potentially suck out the life of their marriage. I wish to remind husbands that the promises they made to their in-laws, of taking good care of their daughter, are more than just not dampening her spirit and ambitions for life but ensuring that life is enjoyable.

Your wife’s interests are meant to be your focus as a husband, in order to ensure that she is in a happy space and enjoys her marriage to you. Treating your wife well goes beyond remembering her birth date or your wedding anniversary and perhaps commemorating those dates with gifts and getaways. Treating her well has a lot to do with the every day interactions. The way you talk to her, especially when she has either excited or offended you. Words matter, but even more importantly, it is the demeanor and tone used.

Belittling

Some husbands have a tendency of belittling their wives and not take their concerns into consideration – and this is evident in their conversations. This starts with not listening to your wife in perhaps little things, like not repairing a broken kitchen cupboard despite numerous requests from her. Ignoring your wife’s requests communicates to her that she is not a priority – every wife wants to feel like a queen to her husband.

If your world cannot stop for your wife who is supposed to be your priority, then it means something, or someone has replaced her. Listening and considering your wife’s interests and concerns will make your marriage enjoyable. When was the last time you did something your wife enjoys doing? Or only one set of interests are entertained in your marriage. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and both parties must put effort to make it enjoyable. Treating her well also includes protecting her from unwholesome talk instigated by in-laws or neighbours. Some husbands fail to stand-up against bullies targeting their wives, especially her in-laws. They expect their wives to understand and pardon demanding family members who take advantage of well-meaning intentions. All these can negatively impact the emotional well-being of your wife and before you know, she will be plummeting into frustration.

As a husband, if you hear of ill-meaning talk about your wife, either in her presence or not, you must confront it immediately – failure to do so means consent. Treating her well means that you are aware that she is human and will make mistakes, big and small. Because of this awareness, forgiveness will be possible – at times painful due to the gravity of the offence or disappointment. Whatever the mishap, forgiving your wife liberates the both of you to live and thrive in a healthy environment.

Forgive

It is common that husbands find it difficult to forgive their partners for offences which they otherwise feel they should be pardoned for. For instance, if the husband commits adultery, the expectation is that the wife should understand and forgive her husband – the same courtesy is not forwarded to the wife if she has committed the same offence. Forgiveness in the family must not have preferences, forgiving and reassuring your wife shows that you care about her well-being. I am not by any means suggesting that this is easy, but I am emphasising that it is a necessity.

Treating her well means that you sometimes go out of your way to make her feel special and important to you. This may include random acts of kindness; buying her gifts, body massage, preparing special meals for her, relieving her of some household chores and many more. The point here is, make your wife feel loved and that she is the queen of your heart. Each husband must know what excites his wife and tap into those things as frequently as possible to keep the marriage fire burning. Remember a happy wife will result in a happy home; likewise, a frustrated wife will breed frustration – this will make even the easy things hard to do. Treat her well; it is your duty and promise as her husband. God bless you.

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