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DEALING WITH REJECTION

17/07/2018 00:39:00 By Charles Samunenge

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REJECTION, whether perceived or real could be the source of spiritual, emotional and mental wounds. Any wound if not treated, with time, may turn into a disastrous infection.

Demons, like germs, are usually attracted to untreated wounds, setting the stage for total infection. Total infection ultimately distorts a person’s identity, purpose, vision, talents and gifts. The person then begins to feel like there is something wrong with them.

They then begin to experience feelings of self rejection and fear of rejection. At this juncture demonic spirits begin to infiltrate the person and set up false personalities within the individual. To infiltrate means ‘to filter into or through something’. Rejection is usually the doorway for much other personality, behavioral and demonic problems. The core aspects of rejection are:

* Rejection - the sense of feeling unwanted, desperately wanting people to always love and accept you and yet somehow secretly believing that they really do not love or accept you.

* Self Rejection - hating oneself or certain aspects of one’s life, for example hating one’s body.
* Fear of Rejection - fear of being laughed at, fear of being abandoned, fear of being ill-treated, fear of been talked about or fear of being criticised.

Rejection is a serious enemy of progress in life. It stifles vision and kills momentum. Rejection usually starts early in life. It can start in the womb through unplanned pregnancy, stressful labor, attempted abortion or the rejection of the pregnancy by the father. Sometimes parents are obsessed with a child of a specific gender, but then the opposite happens and exposes the child to the strong hold of rejection. Family rejection is when a person is abandoned by one or both parents, intentionally or unintentionally.

Then there is also the middle child syndrome where children feel like the parents favour the first and the lastborn children. Sometimes parents cause feelings of rejection when they practice favouritism. Perfectionist parents who constantly criticise their children may stir up feelings of rejection in their children. Constant criticism and no appreciation from your boss may also result in the spirit of rejection taking a hold of you if you fail to deal with it.

When teachers unjustly apply discipline to their pupils, they open them up to rejection. In a family context, when stepfathers or mothers lack the wisdom of how to navigate around their stepchildren, it may cause feelings of rejection to arise. The way society behaves towards certain people could also cause rejection.

When society laughs at, looks down upon, or segregates against those with abnormal, awkward features or those with physical challenges, we make them feel rejected.

Race, economic status, education status, marital status or divorce issues could also make one feel rejected. Usually when one feels rejected, whether perceived or real, they tend to embrace certain attitudes:
* Lust for sex, money, material things, or food.
* Insecurity and inferiority complex.
* Pride, ego and vanity.
* Self accusation, guilt conscious, shame and confusion.
* Depression, despair, discouragement, hopelessness.
* Perfectionism - trying to compensate by perfectly doing things in order to be accepted by others.
* Sensitiveness to every word and action from others; and easily offended.
* Fear, suspicious, paranoia and indecisiveness.

Rejection is painful, and may result in one harboring feelings of anger, resentment and bitterness; and ultimately cause rebellion, stubbornness and violence. The essence of rebellion is the root of bitterness from the wounds and pain of rejection.

Forgiveness is the key that opens the door to healing and self acceptance. Unforgiveness brings torment and bondage. It blinds us from future opportunities and keeps us in the past. Never allow past negative experiences to stifle your potential. Forgiveness is an act of the will, a choice we make beyond our feelings or circumstances. To forgive is to discharge, to give up resentment or claim to requital on account of offence or wrong. It is to pardon to an extent of ceasing to feel resentment against the offender upon remembrance of the wrong done.

To forgive is to absolve. The word absolve means ‘to set free, or release as from some debt or from the consequences of guilt’. When we refuse to forgive those who have rejected us, or perceived to have rejected us in one way or the other, we open ourselves to the destructive force of unforgiveness, resentment, anger, violence, revenge and retaliation. Healing the wounds of rejection starts at the point of forgiving others, forgiving ourselves and receiving forgiveness from God; believe that God loves you inspite of your experiences or present situation.

Accept His forgiveness, rest in His love, mercy, grace and acceptance. Learn to embrace God’s perspective on issues of life, and expect God’s goodness to positively impact on your future. Your identity, purpose, vision, gifts and talents are God designed and given and not determined by people or circumstances. Always remember this; sometimes rejection is direction, or redirection.