IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU’RE GOING

Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said Bongani. “I don’t much care where,” said Nobantu.
“Then it doesn’t matter, which way you go,” said Bongani.

“So long as I get somewhere,” Nobantu added as an explanation. “Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said Bongani, “if you only walk long enough.”

What does that mean?
 How could you pick a road to somewhere when you don’t know where you are going? How do you get ‘there’ when you don’t know or don’t care where ‘there’ is?

Why is direction important?
Or more specifically, having direction. Where are you going? Until you could answer that question, you couldn’t say that any one route is better than another. Any road would get you to where you want to go. Not having a direction, not having a goal, not knowing where you are going, it’s all the same. You go nowhere. You could never get ‘there,’ could never arrive anywhere because you don’t really have a destination. Without direction, without destination, without a goal, how do you pick a direction, choose a road, or plot a course to get ‘there’.

Where could I apply this in my life?
What direction is your taking? Pick an aspect of your life and apply the saying. If you don’t know where you’re going to dinner, any road would get you there. If you don’t know what you want to be when you grow up, any road will get you there. If you don’t know what you want in a friend, same thing. I know it’s practically impossible to know everything beforehand. But if you wait until you have all the information, life will pass you by in the mean time.
Do some research, ask some questions and gain some practical experience, then make a decision, and then act on it.

That’s the hard point for me. Deciding when to quit cutting bait and get fishing, as Grandpa used to say. When do you know when it’s time to quit researching and time to start the field work? That will vary depending on the person, and on the subject under consideration. That’s weasel words for ‘depends’ – depends on you, mostly. Sorry.
What are the areas of your life where you seem to lack direction?

Grab some paper and start a list. It could be anything – just write it down. Clothing style, hair (style, colour, length, …), job or career, friends, purchases, sales, or whatever it may be.
I’m still not sure what I want to be when I grow up. I do software and engineering and any number of other things, but somehow, I think my future is in education of some sort. But without anything more specific, how could I possibly move forward?

What road will take me to a destination that I couldn’t specify? As usual, most of life’s difficulties come down to preparation. Too little or too much, or just sitting there with ‘analysis paralysis’ the result is the same. You don’t get what you want, you don’t go where you had hoped to end up.
The first step is to get an idea of what you want to do. Select one of the areas you are lacking in direction. Brainstorm some possible directions. Write them down. Then consider each one and narrow the field down to just a few of the best and most appropriate possibilities.

If you’re wondering what to do for a vacation, you have a lot of possibilities. Start with the toughest limits, typically time and money.
If you’re planning a weekend getaway, a trans-oceanic flight is probably not a good idea. If your budget is in the “what’s in the couch cushions’ category, you’re probably staying fairly close to home. Once you’ve got an idea of what the basic boundaries are, ask yourself what you really want to do.

For the vacation, do you like to camp, ride, lounge in a spa, see plays, drive places, take pictures, ride roller-coasters, or whatever else might appeal to you. Sweep through all the options you came up with, and compare them to the limits you have.

If it’s a weekend and couch cushion change, you might want to drive to the nearest national park and hike for a while (hope you like hiking!). I think you get the picture. Once you have a couple of really good candidates, finish your research and select one of the paths. At this point, it probably doesn’t matter which one exactly you choose. You can always write it off as a ‘learning experience’ and try again. Even if the steps are small, you should strive to make progress, learn from the experience and revise your direction.

If you don’t have a direction, why have a rudder or a steering wheel. Without direction, you are adrift in the stream of life, subject to all the problems, and completely without recourse. If you have a direction, you can always change your mind and decide to portage around the rapids. Where are you going? Answering the question is important. If the answer to the question is anywhere, you’re probably already there.

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