ESSENTIALS OF SINGLE PARENTING

PARENTING is one of those complex responsibilities experienced by married or single people. Children are a gift and heritage from God.

The scriptures in Psalms 127:3, 4 declare, “Behold children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth.” Children are entrusted to parents by God so that they can be trained, equipped, and as arrows shot into their God designed destiny. We must take care of our children as parents. As parents we must have plans for the well-being of our children. First and foremost the responsibility for training children in the way they should go and in keeping with their individual gifts is on the parents, not the church, community or school. 

A child has needs; he or she needs food, shelter and clothes. A child also needs mental training and education; they must be taken to school by parents. Children also need spiritual guidance. It is important for parents to help in spiritual matters.

It is also our responsibility as parents to provide discipline and correction to our children. Most children learn by example, therefore it is very important for parents to be good examples to their children. One of the greatest needs of a child is love and physical care. Parenting means to bring up, to raise, feed, care for and rear. As parents we are partners and co-labourers with God to bring about purposeful living in our children. Single parenting is a situation where you find yourself raising up or nurturing a child or children single headedly.

It is a situation where instead of a normal couple; one finds himself or herself leading the home alone. Sometimes the challenges faced by a single parent can be overwhelming. Single parenting can be caused by divorce, teenage pregnancies, separation or death.

Whatever the cause of single parenting, a single parent must understand that life must go on. Society must also learn to understand the complex situation of a single parent. Single parents must be embraced with understanding and loved by society, instead of looking at them with suspicion and accusing eyes. As a single parent take charge of the situation, move away from self pity; be bold and courageous. “Tough times never last, but tough people do.” Actually God is concerned about single parents, widows and their children. Psalms 68:5 says, “A father to the fatherless, and a judge of the widows is God in His holy habitation.” 

As a single parent do not allow bitterness in terms of what happened distort your love towards your children. Forgive and move on. Be careful of the landmine of regret and guilt. Do not allow them to explode away your energy, peace and joy. Your child or children need you to be well and focused. Sometimes as a single parent, you may experience blame and rejection from insensitive people around you. Do not allow that to obstruct you from being a good mother or father to your children. Financial challenges should also not be allowed to sabotage your ability to raise your children. The little money you have, use it profitably and wisely.

In case the father or mother of the child is alive and well, but he/she is refusing to get involved with the child’s well-being, don’t become bitter and confused; trust God for provision. If you went through a divorce, do not rush into remarrying just to prove a point to the divorced partner. Allow time for you to stabilise mentally, spiritually and emotionally.

Wholeness is key when raising children as a single parent. When raising children remember to generally and contextually teach them the following;
l The importance of cultivating their relationship with God in spite of their current circumstances.
l Work ethics – their responsibilities at home (domestic life).
l The importance of developing their education levels and career.
l The importance of choosing good and right friends.
l The importance of knowing how to choose a life partner.
l The importance of belonging to a sound good church that enhances who they are, and has the capacity and ability to accurately and spiritually build their lives to fulfil purpose and destiny.

l The significance of healthy and right sex; and consequences of breaking boundaries in sexual issues.
l Teach them to be able to accept discipline and correction appropriately.

As a single parent, be friendly to your children in order to create transparency, which is an effective ingredient to positively influence them. No matter what happens or how difficult it gets, do not give up on your children.

By God’s grace, with determination and perseverance you will be able to raise your children in accordance to their God given purpose and destiny if you stay focused on what matters in life. Your reward will be fulfilling when you finally watch your own children grow into responsible and productive citizens.

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