ADULTING IS A SCAM

IT’S almost the end of March 2017 and it feels like yesterday when we were bemoaning ‘Januworry’ and were stressed out about resolutions. But now I’m sitting here wondering why life has to move by so fast?

Adulting is one of the biggest lies we were ever sold. I am okay with returning to the sandbox and having my biggest worry be how not to get caught speaking siSwati at school by one of the teachers? Ah those were the simple days.

Interestingly enough, while we were children we marvelled at the adults, watching them navigate the world as if they were Titans, providing for us, making it look so effortless, even making us want to be adults too.

We wanted to be adults so bad because of the power it seemed to embody. Adults seemed to have it all and easy access to money (or so we thought). Listen, it was a real problem such that we would play ‘homes’ and everyone wanted to be the ‘father’ or the ‘mother’ mainly for the power (my age mates know the other reason but it was mostly for the power). Anyways, that’s how obsessed with it we were.

Now I’m out here in a state, mainly because I cannot tell you how much our parents/elders kept us from and continue to do so, in some respect.
When you step outside into the world and have to deal with bills, work, spouses it’s all facing you, you can’t help but wonder how they made it all happen when you were young. Being adult is a 24-hour, 365 days job. No vacation days, just work. You never start to appreciate what our parents do until you live on your own.

I’m sure all the 20-somethings know this struggle of living by yourself and how your world is shaken by the reality of being an adult as everything is on you.
It’s not even the financial stuff that is most stressful, it is the full responsibility and navigating the space of adulthood without a handbook. That time we hadn’t had children yet.

If one thing adulting has taught me is to be greatly appreciative of our parents and guardians.
I remember when growing up, my grandmother used to shout from wherever she was in the house ‘emanti ami’ (my water) when she heard the water running in the bath too long.

This was a long standing joke in my family about her drama but now I understand my queen because she knew how much it cost to keep that water running because she was footing the bill.

That’s what being adult is, learning not to waste as it all rests on you. I don’t think my grandmother genuinely had a problem with us running the water, it was the carelessness and unappreciative manner in which it was executed.

We shift our lens as we enter adulthood, its more than just the materialistic, I think navigating through here takes intense emotional maturity and a constant revision of your mistakes (to avoid them in future) ,coupled alongside self-forgiveness for those mistakes and the ability to move, that is what makes for an adult.

The things we don’t see. The resolve to carry on in this world of smoke and ash.
The reality is maturity doesn’t come with age, I’ve met some of the most mature 20 year olds and the most immature 40 year olds.
 I’m not sure what influences maturity but life experiences do play a role. Regardless of which stage of adulting you’re in, we were all lied to.

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