COMPARED TO THE EX

It’s a common mistake that most of us make, comparing a current partner to a former lover; we are human beings after all. I for one I am guilty of such. I have once in a while compared my friend’s, brothers, cousins current girlfriends to their former girlfriends, I know you have too, at least once right.

Unfortunately for our cousins and brothers, women have loyalty issues; don’t blame us it’s in our genes, once we like your girlfriend we are stuck.  We embrace the new woman in our friends, brothers or cousins’ life and accept her as our own sister. The unfortunate thing is sisterhood is for life, should the worst happen and they split up with the cousin we are left devastated by the break-up more than the said cousin.

We blame ourselves for not being informed about the relationship status as surely we could have done something to save it and not lose a sister in the process.  Even after we have been informed about the break-up we insist on being friends with the former girlfriend because to us she is still our sister - that you guys broke up kwenu nodvwa really.

We carry on like the break-up never happened, we continue hanging out with the ex, go the movies , go to the same salon to catch up, call each other, we continue going to the mall chasing specials  and to do our shopping for shoes and bags, all the stuff us girls do. We call each other to update the other about a missed episode of Generations and discuss how blond Jabu is on Isibaya by continuing to date his father’s worst enemy’s daughter, but not before sleeping with his stepmum.

The connection with the former partners is deep because the cousin brought this girl home and we liked her.  All this is harmless at least until there is a replacement, that’s when it becomes tricky. The poor new girl will forever be compared to the former girlfriend. First of all it will take a while for everyone to like or let alone accept her especially the women in the family.  A friend of mine once told me an interesting story about being compared to a former lover. She unfortunately was the new girl after the former one, who was the family’s darling.

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