EVEN DEMONS GO ON VACATION

IT’S still January, so we are still caught up with frail attempts at writing new chapters for our lives, while still consuming the same habits that brought us to that desire to change.

I’m very aware how limiting new year resolutions can be as they perpetuate the notion of waiting for perfect conditions to come, in order to initiate change in our lives when now is always the right and only time we have. My constant resolution or goal is always self-love.

We all have that voice. The voice that seems to be louder than any voices in your head, a voice so clear and unrelenting. Booming like James Earl Jones. This voice sets up camp in your mentions, taunting you. Daring you to love yourself, so it can tear you down and remind you of all your flaws. Life is a constant battle with this voice. The demon.

As a child, we live outside the realms of society’s opinions. We embody an almost other-worldly energy, free of hate, grudges and unfounded guilt. As we enter the teenage years, the outside influences get louder and more impactful, thus warping our sense of self.

This also increases our insecurity in our looks or otherwise, as we begin to compare ourselves to others (Seems that’s how this world is set up, it’s always about doing better than the next person, how about doing better for yourself?) This is around the time the voice gains sharp clarity as it reminds you of how not enough you are. How your friend is better than you because they excel at a certain sport or taller than you or lighter than you.

In a world where patriarchy is sovereign, men are forced to assume these roles that rob us of any form of emotional expression. Male emotional expression is stifled since it’s viewed as weak and ‘feminine’ (Who made these rules in regards to our socialisation, I mean seriously now). So we are forced to traverse this tumultuous sea of life pretending that the creatures and waves don’t scare us, yet sometimes we are just that: scared and insecure.

We cannot deny ourselves this expression; we need to free ourselves from the shackles of censorship. The male species has insecurities like their female counterparts. Men are also scared of not being good enough for themselves and their families. From childhood, there’s an enormous pressure to meet the ideals of masculinity, physically and otherwise, which leads to many unreconciled insecurities and issues.

The voice loves infiltrating when you least expect it and men suffer its sneers in silence due to the dictations of the society they live and breathe in.  Women do not seem to have any problems congregating to share and talk about everything, it’s in discussion where similar narratives begin to surface and you realise that we are all dealing with the same devil, just different attire.

 Self-love is an important aspect of the internal human eco-system. One has to make sure that self-love remains the predator you feed with raw, vehement focus. The funniest thing is how no one ever masters it, the journey of self-love is a lifetime. One just gets better at it, some days are better than others.

I’ve learnt that sometimes the only way to maim The Demon is with affirmations. These affirmations can be immersing yourself in activities you love or fraternising with people that affirm you as well. Go where the love is so that when you come home, and the Demon begins to utter its vitriol, you can quickly respond ‘Look, I know but not today Satan.’
In the words of Amy Poelher, ‘even demons go on vacation’.

Post your comment

Your name:

Your e-mail address:

Add your comments:

Please enter the code you see in the image:

Image:

Code: