PARENTING 101 ACCORDING TO NCAMISO!

Family is the foundation of human beings walking this earth and the stronger the foundation the more chances of respect, honour and a flowery life.
The above statement may be relevant to many and irrelevant to some, depending on the effort made by people to strengthen their family ties.

Ncamiso, a model, has been one of those people who impacted the world positively by deciding to love his child and family. Unlike many young people in this era, Ncamiso made a decision to be the best man that he can be and as the year commences, STYLE has featured him so as to spread the positive spirit of familyhood this year.

Who is Ncamiso?

Ncamiso Gama is a young man who is very friendly, flexible, and reachable but most importantly, a God-fearing father to a one and a half year old son, Sakhelo. I am from Lavundlamanti but because of work and school, l stay in Ngwane Park.

Besides looking hot in front of the camera, what is your career path?

God gave us different talents and skills, but it’s a pity that He didn’t tell us directly what we must do for a living until we find out what we are good at. I was pursuing a Degree in Education and l graduated last December, l hope and pray God answers my prayers yet again. May l not state my career in public because some of our failures are that we talk too much and then the things we want turn otherwise. I so can’t wait to see myself living the dream and becoming a successful businessman, so l can raise my son in a stable home, motivate young people especially in my community so that when they see me, they will say Ncamiso did it with a single parent who’s not even working, and they will have the strength to do it too. I and my brother are currently running a Fear clothing brand and a photographing company. Thanks to those who have been supporting us since day one, we really appreciate.

How did you react to the fact that you were going to be a father?

You know, being a father for the first time is not easy, especially when you know you still have a long way in tertiary. Firstly, what comes to mind are your parents and all the questions that will pop up in your mind, what are they going to say?

Your mother shouting at you, let alone your siblings and close friends. But as time went by, l had to council myself. I had to grow mentally and otherwise. Most importantly, l had to accept that my son was on the way and thanks to the mother for carrying him, l know nine months is never a joke.

Looking at your reaction then and how things turned out now, what changed?

I honestly think l defeated fear. I told myself this is a huge challenge and l have to face it and with God’s grace l managed. Having said that, l would have not done that on my own, the mother is so supportive and we love our son genuinely.

What do you love about being a father?
Seeing your duplicate is another feeling- bonding with the child, learning and seeing new developments in your young one everyday. When you first become a father, you are thrilled with the  newness of life. You don’t really realise in the beginning the gravity of the position. To me more than anything, it’s realising that l am a Father to Sakhelo, I am really starting to examine and understand how important being a good father is. As a father, l have entered a new arena that is only to be described as an overseer. You become responsible, you become a benefactor, a supplier, a gladiator, a guide and you are always concerned about your child’s welfare. It’s a good experience but not for cowards. Like I said, being a father is not a one day tournament but a commitment rather. Before you eat, you have to ask yourself if the boy has been fed so on and so forth. A child really needs a parent’s undivided attention in every aspect so that he becomes a man with dignity, love and respect in future.

What fears do you still have as a father...?
The fear of not being sure if l will be able to do everything right for my son but with God’s grace, l hope for the best. The world has changed, children are exposed to drugs which are very dangerous, l sincerely hope and pray none of it affects my boy.

Generally, what do you think parents should do to ensure their young ones feel loved?
Spend time with the loved ones, show love, support them fully, always give genuine advice, spoil them when the time is right and pray for them.

Advice to long distance parents who see their young ones once in a while...
Technology is your friend! Today more than ever, people are able to stay connected from a distance. In addition to telephones, there are many ways to reach out that are not that costly. If you have internet access in your home, it can be a great way to have regular contact with your child. There are so many ways to communicate: texting, email, instant messaging, and Skype, to name a few. Though l have mentioned that, it does not mean they shouldn’t make means to see their young ones.

Parting words...
Fathers to be must try to spend some quality time with your friends that do not have children before the baby comes. Your life is about to change in many ways you can’t imagine and one of the consequences of that is that it’s going to become more challenging for you to relate to your none parent friends and for them to relate to you and your partner or spouse. You will still be friends and all that but, they will still think that meeting up for drinks somewhere in town at 10pm sounds like a reasonable idea but you won’t.
You will want to talk about things that your child did and they will get bored because they do not understand the feeling of being a father. And to those who have children already and supportive, big ups, real men do that.

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