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THRILLS OF BEING A FATHER

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Looking forward with more anticipation than even he himself had realised, to the thrill that he expected fatherhood would bring.
Taking it entirely for granted that he would feel a bond with this small reincarnation of his own being.


After the first week of attempting to get interested in the unresponsive bundle that was his son, Ncamiso decided the idea of a baby was not a bad one after all.
He takes GCWALA into his world of fatherhood.

Who is Ncamiso?
Ncamiso Gama is a young man who is very friendly, flexible, and reachable but most importantly, a God fearing person and a father to Sakhelo. I am from Lavundlamanti, but because of work and school, l stay in Ngwane Park.

What does Father’s Day mean to you?
It’s a special time of the year where we honour the most important men in our lives, the men who have raised us, inspired us and taught us so much about all the aspects of life. To me, it’s a celebration and appreciation for men who were able to rise against all odds for someone else to have a better future.

How did you feel when they told you that you will be father?
You know, being a father for the first time is not easy, especially when you know you still have a long way in tertiary. Firstly, what comes to your mind are your parents and all the questions that will pop up in your mind, what are they are going to say? The imaginations of the incident, your mother shouting at you, let alone your siblings. But as time went by, l had to counsel myself, l had to grow mentally and otherwise. Most importantly, l had to accept that my son was on the way.

What fears do you still have as a father?
The fear of not being sure if l will be able to do everything right for my son but with God’s grace, l hope for the best. The world has changed, children are exposed to drugs which are very dangerous, l sincerely hope and pray none of it affects my boy.

What are you most proud of as a father?
Seeing your duplicate is another feeling. Bonding with the child, learning and seeing new developments in your young one everyday. When you first become a father, you are thrilled with newness of life. You don’t really realise in the beginning the gravity of the position. To me more than anything, it’s realising that I am a father, I am really starting to examine and understand how important being a good father is. As a father, l have entered a new arena that is only to be described as overseer. You become responsible, you become a benefactor, a supplier, a gladiator; a guide and you are always concerned about your child’s welfare. It’s a good experience, but not for cowards.

What’s your take on teenage pregnancy and fathers that don’t take responsibility?
I doubt that many teenage pregnancies are planned but there are young mothers who are very capable and big ups to them. If she still wants to go out and party and not properly care about the child then it’s obvious she wasn’t ready. Some young mothers are very maternal and willing to give up their current lifestyle to take care for the child, but l feel that a major factor is the support network around the mother. If she has that, then she’s more likely to become a good mother. And to males that fail to take responsibility, l hate to break it to you mates, but if you get a girl pregnant, you are responsible for looking after her. Don’t be a coward. It is true that you may have problems with the mother but let not your problems affect the newborn.

What was your most funniest moment with your son?
l was so hungry and l found him eating potato chips, l asked him to feed me, he laughed and pretended to give me one. I opened my mouth and then instead of feeding me, he fed himself, LOL.

What advice would you give to fathers to be?
Spend some quality time with your friends that do not have children before the baby comes. Your life is about to change in many ways you can’t imagine and one of the consequences of that is that it’s going to become more challenging for you to relate to your non-parent friendsand for them to relate to you and your spouse/partner. You will still be friends and all but, they will still think that meeting up for drinks somewhere in town at 10pm sounds like a reasonable idea but you won’t. You will want to talk about some funny thing that your child did and they will get bored because they do not understand the feeling of being a father.

What would you change about the world if given the chance?
I would certainly make everyone equal, so that everyone has the same chances in life. I would also like people to value what’s important. Lastly, l would make animals to be able to talk to us.
 
How many children do you wish to have?
Two is fine for me.

What is your mantra?
You must have control of the authorship of your own destiny. The pen that writes your life story must be held by your own hand.

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