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THE MITCHELLS TALK FAMILY, LOVE, BUSINESS

11/02/2017 05:28:00 By BY NONDUMISO MSIBI

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Exactly three days to Valentine’s, I have been accused of being a quart low on life. I am unromantic, exceedingly practical and pragmatic in the extreme.

Neither a believer of soulmates nor fairytales, when asked for advice on marriage I invariably discuss the logistics of love.
I talk about the mechanics of a constructive argument. I teach people how to listen intelligently. I promote financial literacy. I get all animated about making a budget.

That’s just the way I think. I am all about process and procedure. I have always believed that the love will take care of itself if the details are okay. As a result, I have never thought much of Valentine’s Day.

In fact, I used to believe it was a silly thing, a holiday heralded by white people to get gifts from their loved ones.
But I am 24 years old and I have survived my fare share of ugly in relationships, and I am now convinced that some unrestrained sentimentality (even if corporately inspired) might be just the thing.

Challenged

Whether or not you are romantically challenged like me, I think a fresh look at Valentine’s Day might be worthwhile. It can become routine for any one of us.
If not ignored, we often meet it with a quick trip to the grocery store to pick up a card and some flowers.
I think this may just be the year to work Valentine’s Day like a job.

Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to celebrate the soft side of the whole thing, to rekindle that first-year passionate stuff that you don’t think of doing anymore. Instead of just giving it a passing nod this year with some candy or a card, you can use it as a launching pad for a more passionate and expressive marital year.

And with that said, I was taken by a certain couple that runs a business together, they have been in love for 15 years and in that 15 years they were reconnected by social media. Gcwala had a chat with the two...
Melissa Mitchell is a co-director of Mitchell’s Restrobar and Grill.

She was born and raised in Swaziland, and attended Sifundzani Primary and High School before heading off to Nelson Mandela Metropolitan University in South Africa to pursue a degree in Commerce focusing on Marketing, Social and Market Research, Corporate Comms and Industrial and Organisational Psychology.

Then there is Garren Mitchell, her husband. He is the other half of the directorial team at Mitchell’s.
He was born in the Eastern Cape, but was raised in Swaziland as his family is from here, attending Salesian and Piet Retief High School.

Reconnect

Mellisa’s husband has worked in the Sales Industry for many years, but had come home recently to assist his mother with running her catering business and to reconnect with Melissa.
Garren is also part of the Red Eyed Ravers Motorcycle Club, and biking is more than just a passion for him as he describes it as a lifestyle that his wife has also grown to love and support.

Gcwala: How did you two meet?

We actually met 12 years ago through mutual friends but lost contact over the years. In 2015 we reconnected via social media as we had both returned from living and working in South Africa. The timing was right, and the rest is history as they say.

Gcwala: What then made you guys to venture into business? And how has it been working with each other?

When we found out that we were going to have a daughter, we both started seriously thinking about what kind of future we wanted for her. We wanted her to be in our care, full time, and be raised by us with our own beliefs and value system. Nurturing and shaping a human being is a tough task, and we didn’t want to put that role in anyone else’s hands, so we decided to open a business where we could spend time together as a family. It’s been a long road, and we have our ups and downs as business partners, but we try to keep work and our relationship separate.

We often find that we start our sentences with “As your business partner…” or “As your husband/wife…” so there is never any confusion over what side of our lives we are discussing. Living and working together can put a strain on any relationship, especially being full time parents without nanny care, so it’s important to communicate with each other.

Yes, sometimes tempers get heated, so it’s crucial to walk away from a heated situation and take private time to breathe as individuals and come back later when the situation is calmer.
Gcwala: Tell us how you went about choosing the name of your restaurant and what the challenges have been so far and how you have overcome them?

Mitchell is our surname, so when planning this business, we had the hope in our hearts that it would be a legacy for our daughter and what siblings may follow her. We also want everyone to feel as though we are welcoming you into our lives and offering a bit of ourselves and what we like. A fun and funky place just like we both are, but still family oriented. There are so many challenges when it comes to businesses in general, but particularly hospitality and service industries.

You never fully realise when you’re planning and putting pen to paper how many challenges you will face on a daily basis. That is often what deters people from pursuing business ventures, especially if they have tried and have had to give up or shutdown before. It’s the constant questioning and having to find solutions to problems and questions, which happens on a daily business.

Being a parent to business and similarly to a young child is not a 9-5 job, it’s a ‘when we open our eyes to when we close our eyes’ job. The key is to just stay calm and pull yourself into the realisation that nobody really has life figured out, no matter how old we get, we can only try to inform ourselves as best as possible and do our best, one day at a time. There is no such thing as failure, only lessons.

Gcwala: How do you guys deal with running a family and a business at the same time?
It’s incredibly taxing - mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally. We’re still figuring it all out as we go along. We always say that no matter what comes our way, if we do it together as a unit, we’ll get through it. You unfortunately have to be selfish when you are in a position like this, you have to do what’s best for you, your relationship, your children and your business.

Nobody will have to live with the consequences but you, so you just have to make logical decisions that work for you. I as a woman am very reluctant to give unsolicited advice, we’re all such unique people that what works for me may not work for the next person; and that’s also what we try to live by when receiving tons of unsolicited advice, is that everyone means well, but we have to steer the ship and ultimately live with our choices.

Gcwala: How will you be spending Valentine’s Day?
We will be working on Valentine’s Day but the Monday prior to which is also my wife’s birthday, so we plan to handle all the business affairs in the morning and spend the rest of the day curled up on the sofa with our little one, some good movies and treat ourselves to some comfort food and chill time as a family.

Gcwala: And how will the restaurant be spending Valentine’s? What can people expect?
Today, we will be hosting an event called 50 First Dates. It offers speed dating for singles and two for one cocktails for couples or groups of two, throughout the evening. There will also be a draw on the night, where the winner will take home coupons for three free meals of their choosing. Strawberry Mimosas will be served on entry and InnovaBooths, photo booths will be there to capture everyone’s memories. Expect great music, great food, a fun walkabout social experience and more!

Gcwala: Tell us of a Valentine’s Day that you will forever remember and why?
I think for both of us it has to be last year’s Valentine’s Day. My wife’s birthday is the day before and her waters broke on that day, so we spent our Valentine’s Day wondering when we were going to meet our little girl. Best gift ever.

Gcwala: Plans for the future (for Michelle’s)
We would definitely like to see more live acts at Mitchell’s. We have now also officially partnered with the Swaziland International Comedy Festival and will be hosting their official media launch at Mitchell’s in March of this year. We will now also, in conjunction with Larry Mhlanga, the hilarious Mdura and their team, be hosting Comedy Club Thursday twice a month at Mitchell’s, leading up to the festival and thereafter. So we are geared to become the home of open mic nights, poetry slams and comedy nights.

Gcwala: And advice to the young couples who draw inspiration from you guys? How do you keep the spark going?
With a baby and a business, it can become easy for partners to begin focusing more on the day to day tasks that need to get done. We try taking any moment to be affectionate and remind one another of our love for each other. Quality time is hard to come by, so when we do have a chance to be alone, and our little one is with any of her grandparents (our baby is blessed to have three sets of grandparents) for a night or a few hours, we prioritise each other. No cellphones, no business talk, just being together. Laughter is the best medicine for a marriage. Well that, and one other thing we might not mention in public domain.