Madam,

It is a bold and necessary move by our Members of Parliament to deliberate on the vetting of marriage councillors. As someone who believes deeply in the sanctity of the family unit, I view this not merely as a matter of regulation, but as a matter of national survival. We are currently witnessing a fragile state of the Eswatini family and if we do not address the root, how we prepare couples for the journey rather than the ‘big day’, we will continue to see our courts flooded with broken vows and shattered homes.

Modern society has become obsessed with the aesthetics of marriage. We spend months choosing the perfect venue, the most expensive attire and the most lavish décor. We treat the wedding like a finish line, when in reality it is merely the starting block. We have professionalised the wedding ceremony event but marginalised the union.

My own experience stands in stark contrast to this trend. I received intensive, structured counselling from my pastor for a solid six months. This was not a series of polite chats or a checklist of logistical items, it was a rigorous process of unmasking. We were forced to confront the unspoken truths, learning about each other’s deep-seated flaws, discussing financial transparency and understanding that perseverance is not a suggestion, but a requirement. If a couple spends more time discussing the flavour of their wedding cake than they do their strategy for conflict resolution, the foundation is already crumbling before the first guest arrives.

Primarily among the reasons many marriages in Eswatini are failing today is that couples are entering a lifelong contract without reading the fine print. Most counselling sessions are far too brief, sometimes lasting only a few hours or a single weekend.

In these shallow sessions, the ‘ugly’ truths remain hidden. People enter marriages with ‘hidden closets’ in their lives, undisclosed debts, differing views on gender roles or unresolved childhood traumas.

When the honeymoon phase ends, and these realities emerge, the ‘in good times and in bad promise feels like a trap rather than a vow. Without a vetted, professional or spiritually grounded councillor to force these hard conversations early on, couples find themselves standing against each other rather than with each other when the storm hits.

Statistics globally, reflected in our local trends, show that a high percentage of marriages fail within the first five to seven years precisely because the bad times encountered were never discussed or prepared for during the engagement. Counselling must be a mirror, not a mask.

Perhaps the most heartbreaking aspect of our rising divorce rate, which has seen a concerning upward trend in the High Court in recent years, is the fate of the children. When a marriage collapses, it is rarely a clean break. Instead, we see a disturbing trend of custodial court processes becoming battlegrounds for revenge.

Children are the silent victims of these disputes. When parents use custody battles to get back at each other or stall proceedings over property and assets, the child’s psychological stability is the first thing to break. Research shows that children from high-conflict divorces are significantly more likely to struggle with emotional disorders, academic decline and trust issues in their own future relationships.

The focus shifts from what is best for the child to how can I hurt my former partner. This cycle of bitterness ensures that the trauma of the parents is inherited by the next generation, creating a cycle of instability that Eswatini simply cannot afford. We are not just losing marriages, we are losing the peace of our children.

Church leaders consistently remind us that God hates divorce. This is a powerful spiritual truth, but it must be backed by practical, proactive action. If the Church hates divorce, then it must love preparation. We cannot simply preach against the end of a marriage; we must actively work to ensure its successful beginning.

Vetting marriage councillors is a step towards ensuring that those who sit in the advisor’s chair are equipped to handle the complexities of modern life. Whether a councillor is a pastor, a traditional leader or a secular professional, they must be held to a standard that prioritises the long-term health of the couple and the protection of the children involved. Councillors must be vetted to ensure they aren’t just blessing a union for the sake of tradition, but are actually challenging it to see if it is built on a rock or on sand. They must have the courage to tell a couple ‘you are not ready’ if the foundational work has not been done.

Understanding that marriage is a journey of two imperfect people deciding daily to choose one another is the first step towards reform. It requires compromise, radical acceptance and a level of honesty that most are afraid to reach. If we want to lower the divorce rate and protect our children from the scars of custodial wars and property disputes, we must start at the beginning.

We must demand better preparation. We must vet our councillors to ensure they are providing more than just platitudes, and above all, we must remember that while a wedding lasts a day, a marriage is intended to be the journey of a lifetime. The strength of our nation is found in the strength of our homes. Let us protect them with the seriousness they deserve.

It is a bold and necessary move by our Members of Parliament to deliberate on the vetting of marriage councillors.