As a mother of sons, the recent case in which a woman was fined for lying about her boyfriend sexually violating her left me shaken and angry. Not because I doubt that sexual violence exists or that survivors deserve support, but because false accusations carry a heavy cost that society is too quick to ignore. When a court confirmed that a claim was fabricated, it exposed a painful truth many parents of boys quietly fear: Some women do lie and the consequences for men can be devastating.
Public discourse often repeated the slogan ‘believe her’as though it were a rule rather than a starting point. I understood why it emerged, given decades of silence and shame forced on genuine survivors. Yet, belief without scrutiny proved dangerous. I was reminded of a song lyric, ‘men lie, women lie,’ which spoke less to gender and more to human nature. People lied when hurt, angry, or seeking revenge and pretending otherwise did not protect justice.
I raised sons whom I taught to respect women, to understand consent and to take responsibility for their actions. What frightened me was knowing that one false accusation could undo a lifetime of good parenting. Many men had gone through this ordeal, some rotting in jail, reputations destroyed, families broken, not because evidence proved their guilt, but because a scorned partner told a convincing story. Even when innocence was later established, the stain rarely disappeared.
This was why thorough investigations have to be conducted every time. Supporting complainants and protecting the rights of the accused are not opposing goals; they are two sides of the same justice system. Police, prosecutors and communities have to resist pressure to rush to judgment, especially on social media where outrage travels faster than facts. True survivors are best served by careful, professional investigations that strengthened cases, not weakened them through shortcuts.
The woman who was fined for lying did harm over her own relationship. She will make it harder for real survivors to be believed and will reinforce fears among men that the system could be weaponised against them. As a mother, I ask for balance. Let us listen compassionately, investigate diligently and judge fairly.
Justice should never be a contest of genders. It should be a search for truth guided by evidence, fairness and restraint. Until society accepted this, mothers like me would continue to worry, suvivors would continue to suffer doubt, and false accusers would continue to poison a cause that deserved honesty and care above all else. We owe our children a system that values truth over slogans.
As a mother of sons, the recent case in which a woman was fined for lying about her boyfriend sexually violating her left me shaken and angry.
