SIHLANGU’S CHALLENGE IS BIGGER THAN INEPT ANTHONY

My dearest readers ... What’s in a name? This question came to my mind after watching Sihlangu bomb out of the COSAFA Castle Cup quarter-final for the second year in a row on Saturday afternoon.

ANTHONY MDLULI. That’s the name that has dominated dinner table conversations since Saturday’s demoralising 0-1 loss to Lesotho by the nation’s pride. Many have wondered who really is Anthony Mdluli. I will try to unravel the mystery here this morning.

He is the latest finder-finder coach to occupy the national team, Sihlangu Semnikati coaching post. I don’t blame you, dear reader, for wondering where did the National Fumblers ... er Football Association of Swaziland (NFAS) pick him up or how did he find the Sihlangu coaching job on his lap. Only those of us who follow local football with ebullient passion know him, his ‘glowing’ CV which entails coaching run-of-the-mill women teams including our Sitsebe Samhlekazi to nowhere.

He is a teacher by profession. The name itself is a misnomer. Anthony in Biblical terms means worthy of praise. After he misguided Sihlangu to another COSAFA Castle Cup exit on Saturday against an equally poor Lesotho’s Likuena Likuena, contrary to his name, there is nothing to praise Mdluli for. For God’s sake, it’s not his fault. It’s not his fault that he found himself occupying the hottest coaching seat in the country. He did not appoint himself. He is just a pawn in a football politics chess game by the ‘experts in failure’ – to paraphrase what one Jose Mourinho said about Arsene Wenger – who have mismanaged our football for donkey years.

If anything, you have to go to the Kalabarian philosophy to fully understand the name ‘Anthony’. According to the Kalabarian philosophy, the word ‘Anthony’ gives you a ‘clever, quick, analytical mind but you suffer with a great deal of self-consciousness, lack of confidence, and much aloneness because of misunderstandings’.

It adds: “Your idealistic and sensitive nature gives you a deep appreciation for the finer things of life and a strong desire to be of service to humanity.  It is far easier for you to express your deeper thoughts and feelings through writing than verbally,”

The last sentence depicts Mr Mdluli more. He is a technician who probably would write a world-class report on why our national team is so bananas. His reports are probably what impressed the appointing fingers at that House of evil, Sigwaca. The Kalabarian philosophy puts it succinctly when it describes Anthony, in not-so-many words, as someone who ‘finds pleasure in literature, in poetry, and in your ideals and will turn to them when you feel you have been misunderstood.’

He is a bookworm or should I say, a student of the game, who understands all the philosophies and intricacies of the game. Unfortunately, football, by its nature, is a practical game.
The Kalabarian philosophy also asserts that when you are ‘Anthony’, ‘you crave affection but seldom find anyone who understands your nature,’. Nothing can describe our Anthony better.

But this State-of-Nation-Sports-Address (SONSA) put it succinctly only two weeks ago, that Mdluli was like a high school teacher (which he is) who has been offered a job as a lecturer at a university and he takes it anyway even though he knows he is out of depth. Again, to his defence, it is not his fault.

In Mdluli’s case, sadly, as it has turned out, he was given a long rope to hang himself. He was hanging by the thread on Saturday as a tactless, clueless, hapless Sihlangu huffed and puffed before going down 1-0 to a predominantly youthful Lesotho side, who are clearly on a building phase.

Therein lies the rub.
While Sihlangu took a larger share of players who are in the Indian summer of their careers, the obviously fatigued Swallows players who have not had a proper rest for the past three years on top of being ill-trained at their ripe ages, Lesotho are seamlessly introducing the Under-20 squad to the rigours of international football. Our FA’s propensity for instant results instead of the patience of building a team for the future, with a proper development plan, has once again left us flatter-than-a-Can-of-Coke left open for an hour.

That’s why as Sihlangu prepares to play in the meaningless ‘Plate’ section of the COSAFA Castle Cup against Botswana’s Zebras today, one wonders what is the plan of the FA going forward, especially with the Africa Cup of Nations 2019 qualifiers continuing in September. Going back to the drawing board and appointing a new coach, perhaps?

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