CRY THE BELOVED SD

 
Sir,

It is becoming a norm that every day we read or hear about another woman that has been killed.
The question is do we want to live in the kind of society where the killing of women is normal, who most of the time are killed by the people who claim to love them?

Do we want to read articles every day and have small chats about it and continue to live like nothing has happened?
Are we different from the perpetrators if we have the guts to eat and digest our food despite this every day?
One would argue that there are strategies, laws and programmes in place to combat this pandemic, but you don’t need to be a rocket scientist to see that it’s not enough.
Swaziland is one of the countries with the highest number of gender based violence cases, about 79 per cent of women are victims of gender based violence.

Responsibility

This number is very high for a country that has less than 10 years to reaching its First World status, and to sit as if things are normal is a story for another day.
It looks like no one wants to take responsibility for what is happening in this kingdom from the leadership going down to that John and Jacky on the streets.

The worst part of it is when the perpetrators take their own lives after doing what one would think was a premeditated act.
We need to wake up from our comfortable beds of ignorance and agree that times have changed.

These are not the times for telling women to be strong even in abusive marriages and relationships, most women are educated now we can’t expect them to stay at home and expect the men to provide.

Times have changed and the clashing won’t stop as long as we deny all of the things I have mentioned above.
Talking about the train of change, it brings me to the issue of men and boys.

Mentality

It looks like most of us are remaining behind with the ancient mentality of relating to women and girls and how we view ourselves as men and boys.
You can ask a few men around you, if you don’t believe in violent measures of manhood, your peers have a name for you.
That is why a lot of men have done a number of things which they are not proud of just because they wanted to stay relevant or acceptable to their peers.
Gentlemen we need to know that we are complete human beings without our friends.
That is why most men today are afraid of empowered women and equality, as they feel intimidated by an equitable lifestyle.

Lifestyle

An equitable lifestyle only means you recognise that the other person is human like you and they also deserve the best like you do, it has got nothing to do with power.
Today if you share a story to that man around you about a woman who has cheated or has decided to quit a relationship; chances are very high that the responses you will get are ‘I would kill her’ or ‘I would beat her up’.

You will rarely hear a man say he would quit the relationship. Is it because our society has objectified women and treated them like someone’s property? You have the answer I don’t.

If this is a socialisation problem, do we still want to continue having more programmes involving women and girls than we have for men and boys?
I will tell you now that this is a recipe for disaster. We need to have more male involvement programmes to deconstruct certain things that society has taught our male species.

Questioning

It begins with me and you, questioning our own attitudes and perceptions about women because we have the power to transfer it to future generations.
I say NO! To the killing and the raping of our mothers and sisters and, to borrow from Nelson Mandela, it’s an ideal for which I’m prepared to die.

Samora Makama,
Men in Action Against
Violence and Abuse

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