DEPRESSION HAS A LOT OF FRIENDS

Sir,

Mental health covers a range of conditions from depression to schizophrenia. It’s quite clear that a certain section of the African populace doesn’t consider mental health a serious affliction. Any mental health related issues are treated with patronisation and literal devaluing of the patient’s experience. There are a range of mental health illnesses one can discuss and how they interfere with normal every day functioning. I want to focus on depression and how it’s a soundless killer. The issue with depression is; the manner in which it is dismissed as an illness that can simply be miraculously overcome without psychological intervention.

Depression

People don’t understand that depression can lead to a literal loss of the will to live which leads to some sufferers literally staying in bed for days and chronic state of hopelessness. Living with that darkness towering over you, can lead to harmful behaviours, ask me I know. Stigma attached to mental health issues is a primary cause of why people suffer in silence. The culture we live in doesn’t allow for humans, especially men, to expose their vulnerability and declaring that you’re actually depressed and it’s interference with your life is a signifier of one losing the battle. That’s absolute ignorance and it’s the silence that enables depression to fester in our society and destroy people’s lives.

Suffer

We also assume that because a person has a job, car and any other material possession, that exempts them from suffering from depression. It’s those very people who suffer from it the most. People are in vocations they don’t love or mental health runs in their family or high debt. But due to the social shame attached to revealing this fragile state of mind, many keep it to themselves, in hopes that it will dissipate or it’s just a ‘phase’. When ignored depression can lead to fatal results, mainly through suicide. Suicidal thoughts often plague people who suffer from depression and they may endanger themselves, for they have no will to live. A study revealed that men commit suicide four times more than women. This means for every one woman who takes her own life, four men do. Even in varsity, we saw this trend. Young boys would kill themselves during or after exams in fear of failure. It’s the tragic flaw of masculinity at play, the flaw of imagining that unwavering strength is definitive of the male identity.

Emotions

Mainly due to men bottling emotions and not discussing the human issues they face, this leads to this bubbling lava that is always bound to explode eventually. Women form support structures among themselves that carry them through via this shared understanding of the commonality of their female identity. Men never seem to delve past business, liquor and any other empty intoxication used to numb themselves. I remember when my friend’s brother took his life, he told me; “Promise you will talk to me.” He captured it quite well; we need to talk about all the mess. Please create spaces within your friendships or relationships to enable your loved ones to share those parts of them. Talking can save someone’s life.

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