LOVE, MONEY, RELATIONSHIPS AND BREAKUPS

Sir,

The foundation of a relationship constitutes of a devoted man and a willing woman. This is to say the man must channel his strength into building a life and perhaps a thought of having a home and kids with a certain woman of his choice. In the part of the woman, this means she must assess the possibility of sharing her life and is willing to spend the rest of her days with this particular man who has appealed both to her feelings and spiritual being. But of course it is always more than two people engaged in the relationship. Loving another person suggests that you are willing to carry their past, present and oncoming lacks and triumphs. In the moment of falling into the love relations we commonly think less of this perspective. We tend to focus more on what could make us happy; that is okay and quite frankly it is what is expected in a new relationship.

The second stage comes shortly after all the sweet talks, cuddles and late nights. Money issues may come up as the romance lives on and the dough is not matching. Lapha ukhandza kutsi umlingani wakho kumele ete atovakasha ngemphelasontfo kepha ute kahle imali. In my opinion,  imali akumele ibe ngumgogodla webudlelwane webantfu labatsandzanako. I believe if your partner doesn’t have enough money to come to you or  anywhere else he or she needs to be, you may assist if you can and not because you need to but because you also want to. The verse of tight income or availability is usually the spigot of whether or not you’re worth it nowadays. Partners give up a lot of morals and dignity; and poor wages are what the youth commonly describes as red flags.

Equals

I do not believe you can truly be equals when one demands to lead you because they earn better and are funding your life. What are partners without being equals? What sort of relationship can be achieved with this instability? The truth is some do last and in that bleeding state only the worst is to be seen in the end. People who believe you stay because you need them adopt the mentality that they do not need you but you need them. In that state, all your little belongings are invisible and you’re what they bring to your life. Those people are the ones, when you slip and fall, who are quick to remind you that the clothes you wear are theirs, the food you eat and the shelter you live under is theirs, they push hard to reduce you to nothing.

If you note well, love hasn’t been mentioned in all the materialistic and money stuff they nag you about. This is how they put the final show of the little things they pull here and there and ordering you around day in and day out. On the final show, the partner makes sure you feel irrelevant and useless without their merciful financial support and may amount to nothing without their kindness.  Throughout the constant disagreements and fights, one partner may find the courage to leave the relationship but the other may find it hard to let go. Loku kwentiwa kutsi nine nobabili nanihlanganiswe yimali kakhulu and your happiness was decided and dependent on it. To avoid such situations, men and women should learn kutimela and utakhele yakho imali. Don’t use relationships to support your sinking financial boats, things will not end well. This is not advice but a suggestion to save lives, shame and constantly starting afresh every two months and not understanding the feelings and spiritual ties at play. Be wise, stay wise and think wisely.

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