‘THIS ONE IS ON THE HOUSE’

Sir,
 
There are two tough times in a man’s life when it comes to women. The first is the approach. It has to be perfect. Nail it and you have a new best friend; mess up and there goes your self-confidence. The thing is not all guys are as suave when it comes to women.

Some need a bit of encouragement, others go on blind dates while some solicit the help of friends or family – call it the set-up. It is often said you do not have a second chance to make a first impression, so even in these aforementioned circumstances, some men just sweat to the core and still f%#$ up.

Confidence

So let us say things go well… three things are involved: Firstly the man’s confidence will be boosted, then he’ll go for another and another until he decides who to be steady with, while the second group will just stick with one partner. Thirdly, the man won’t believe he’s worthy of the woman and so he’ll behave in such a way that he’ll bore his love to the point where she thinks something’s wrong with him. This is called lacking game.

Again there are three things involved; the first group (womanisers, Casanovas, Lotharios) besides the obvious is often abusive. On the other hand, the sticks-with-one will be exemplary and be happier and richer. As for the third group, ewu these ones will probably have a child or two or maybe triplets, but they’ll lose their partner yet become great single dads, putting the interests of their children first. Many fall into this category, you just have to look around you.The sticks-with-one group, as I mentioned earlier, are exemplary… unfortunately very few fall into this category. This group’s self-confidence is sky high, which among men is very important. The more a man can share the higher the confidence and the opposite is true.

Proposal

This brings us to the proposal. There comes a time then in any couple’s journey where they have to commit to each other. This helps them establish themselves as a family. Now, most movies and novels give the notion that a man going down on one knee will get a yes from the other corner. Now, unlike the approach, which is mostly about the woman, the proposal is about the man. Everything has to fall in place; the scene, the moment; even the woman has to be in the right frame of mind. Unfortunately for some, all this preparation can end in heartbreak. The bigger issue here is that men do get back on both feet heartbroken, which can lead to other psychological factors like depression or a spike in creativity.

Perfect

I read a joke once which went something like: “A man walks into a bar and starts calling one shot after the other. Concerned the barman asks what’s wrong. In reply the man says, ‘well, I met the most beautiful woman I had ever laid my eyes on. I tell you she was perfect. She had lovely features, she could cook, clean, I tell you she was perfect. She was the woman of my dreams.’ Feeling sorry for his estranged guest, the barman pours him another shot and says; ‘This one’s on the house. I guess I’d do the same if my wife died.’ Further breaking down, the man takes a swig, composes himself and says: ‘She didn’t die. She left. I wasn’t everything she was looking for.”

Whether you laugh, smile, chuckle or cringe at this, before you go on bended knee, make sure you also have her interests at heart and hopefully, when the time comes, she will say yes.

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