GET USED TO IT!

Sir,

It has started getting pretty hot again. One cannot help but note the beautiful summer dresses all the girls are dressing in, the shorts by the guys are a marvel too. It is almost a reflex to look at young girls and women dressed in plaid long skirts and dresses and wonder how they must be feeling in the 32 degree weather. Unfortunately, it is this time of the year that the cases of harassment towards women who are dressed in short skirts and dresses increasingly become the order of the day. 

Dressed

Ironically, men dressed in summer shorts and tight tops never get even a second glance. The most predominant insult towards women who dress to fit the weather is always that they lack self-respect and modesty. Well, here’s the truth: a piece of fabric does not determine your self-worth. People who work in clothing retail have folded countless pieces of clothing and they can vow that self-respect is not a piece of fabric that just happens to cover certain parts of your body. We’ve all bought new clothing for different occasions; there is no magic self-respect in pockets or in the sleeves.

You don’t start respecting yourself more because you are covering yourself up. You start respecting yourself when you are surrounded by people who respect you. You start respecting yourself when you find what you are good at and involve yourself in those activities.

Insulted

I feel insulted when I hear that self-respect is based solely on the way we women dress. If we seriously think that we can look at someone and determine their self-worth, reality check. We have no idea, and we don’t get to judge. None of us have some sort of great sensor that gets to say, “Hey, she’s on a level 5 today on the invisible self-respect chart.” The length of piece of fabric on someone’s body isn’t some kind of measurement for self-respect. 

There are so many ways one can feel respect for herself. You respect yourself by not insulting yourself or others. You respect yourself by being honest about your feelings, by disassociating yourself from people who hurt you, by trying to better get to know yourself, and knowing that someday, when you see your Creator again He’ll be excited to see you no matter what you’re wearing. I imagine He’ll be far more interested in the way I treated myself and others, than what kind of outfits I decided to wear on this earth.

Too often the language of learning, growing or good intent has been used to ignore the real-life implications the branding model has on the daily lives of women. ‘Learn’ to respect yourself, ‘grow up’ and dress your age, what do you ‘intend’ to gain from dressing that way? It’s like we have turned a blind eye on the high temperatures this time of the year…it is summer, get used to it! 

Nomsa

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