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CURB NARCISSISTIC BEHAVIOUR

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Sir,

There is a cloud of narcissism going around our beautiful country of Eswatini. I’m not sure if it’s the rise in the usage of these smartphones, or is it the easy access to social media causing and unrivalled overwhelming feeling of not being enough. You log on and see that other women are prettier, hotter, with better weave quality of hair! Men log in and see their rivals looking richer, dating hotter women and looking way more polished than their underwhelming selves. This then moves to wanting to outshine your own friends, leading us straight into the trap of narcissism. Daily selfie posts and needless rambles about self are quite dizzying.

Tedious

It becomes tedious to be around such a person as they are now at the stage where they think we are all interested in their life or even envious of it. Then again ngete sabasola kakhulu; the Good Book had mentioned that in the last days people will be lovers of themselves and less concerned about others. Now imagine this sort of persons (let’s call them those infected by the plague of narcissism), picture them trying to be mothers and wives. Do you know how difficult it is to love a narcissist? A narcissist cannot see any wrong with themselves; everything is your fault. Kute leningakwakha kulelo khaya nemuntfu longakwati kucolisa. In fact their actions can even openly suggest that you are lucky to have them in your life - kahle kahle ukwentela i-favour.

Possible

It is simply not possible. She will blame you for not being happy with herself, for not living up to her ever increasing standards as stipulated by the gram. This spills over into how you see yourself as you will be constantly measured against other men in her world and she will highlight how you are just not enough. I don’t know how to cure this plague apart from avoiding the ones who have it. Once a person shows a hint of arrogance and the desire for elevation or reverence over others, I’m out! Be it a friendship or relationship. I’ve seen how this poison moves in quickly and soon we are all lying in a pool of unworthiness and self-loathing because we drank from the chalice.

Slogan

We love the ‘own race, own pace’ slogan but clearly we don’t quite dig deeper into what it means. It is slightly delusional to think what happens on the lane next to me won’t affect me - it does. The trick is to clearly define your purpose path and follow it relentlessly. And when we do find someone to walk through the journey of life alongside us don’t alter their purpose path. Don’t lose yourself in the cheerleading activities of supporting the other. There’s nothing hotter than a winning couple with their own personal command of their own fields. Be a movement by yourself.

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