AVOIDING THE REAL ME

Sir,

After making it through a mid-life crisis, an insightful man once commented; “I’ve spent my whole life trying to be someone who I’m not. Now I’m ready to focus on accepting and enjoying who I am.”

So many people are trying to be someone they are not: trying to be richer, to be better looking, to feel better, to gain status, or just to be liked by others. So many people are not happy with who they are.

Deep down we are all beautiful beings worthy of love and support. The sweet innocence of babies and young children is a clear example of this. Yet for most of us, the shining essence with which we came into this life became obscured over the years as our family and others were unable to give us the kind of unconditional love and support we so craved. 

As children, when we were repeatedly told that we were not good enough or were punished just for being who we are, thick layers of confusion and doubt developed, clouding our divine essence.

Layers of fear and insecurity were woven into our personalities as we learned to survive in a world where others often cared about us only if we made them happy, or when we proved ourselves to be someone they wanted us to be.

Mask

By the time we are grown, most of us have developed a protective mask or persona to hide these layers of fear and insecurity from others, and at times even from ourselves. Though we might outwardly appear happy or content, in the inside most of us, to varying degrees, feel unhappy with who we are, wishing we were somebody we are not.

We feel the heavy burden of the fears, wounds, and insecurities which have built up. We long ago lost touch with that beautiful, shining core inside of us, buried under unseen layers of fear, anger, guilt, shame, insecurity, inadequacy, and more.

Yet that shining essence is still there. It has always been there. Most of us at some point in our lives have had peak experiences where that deeper essence broke through; times where we felt deeply satisfied about our lives, or where we were reminded of who we really are. No matter how much you may have forgotten, no matter how thick those layers clouding your essence may be, your shining core is and always has been there.

D Mdluli

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