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A HARSH REALITY

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 Sir,

Eswatini is robustly suffering from high rates of divorce, domestic violence, suicides as well as crimes of passion due to extramarital affairs. There are now more children born out of wedlock, there are now more unmarried ladies and single parents.


What has changed from the past? Was the situation different when polygamy was more dominant?
The number of unmarried women seems to be on the rise, yet they too are human and have natural needs of being in a relationship. Being the other woman is slowly becoming the norm in the country; yet it is still being frowned upon.

Unfortunately it is a harsh reality that almost two thirds of married men have extramarital relationships. I grew up thinking that it is every young girl’s wish to have a dream wedding, have a perfect husband and children, where they will live happily ever after.

Unfortunately, a number of women find themselves being the ‘other woman’. I want to believe that these women did not anticipate being in such a situation but they are in it. It has sadly become a norm for a married man to propose love to a woman while wearing a wedding ring. It has also sadly become a norm for ladies to fall deeply in love with married men, knowing very well that the chances of them being happily married are nil. 


My question is why do women subject themselves to such misery? Being the other woman means that the relationship will not be a normal one whereby you will not be able to walk hand in hand with your partner in public, you will not be able to call ‘your man’ when you please, you will most probably have to keep the relationship very secret and not be able to openly share your excitement of being in love to the world as this man is practically not yours.


 In as much as it may be so; being the other woman is not right. It is wrong to you, the man and his family as well as society at large. You may enjoy the freedom of being independent, but at the end of the day, this void is very detrimental.

There comes a point where this arrangement no longer works for you, as you will at some point want to have children, you will at some point want someone to wake up next to every morning. One thing I know for sure is that no matter how deeply in love you both may be, it is highly unlikely that he will leave his wife for you. You will always be the other woman.

D S 

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