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VALLEY OF SHADOW OF DEATH

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Sir,

A few weeks ago I began a new job at Manzini Clinic and nobody told me about Manzini drivers. Having driven in London, Kampala, New York, Nairobi and even on the Place de la Concorde in Paris, nothing prepared me for the early morning trip from tranquil Malkerns, through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, to the top of Moneni Hill. That first week, the casualty and emergency nurses had to resuscitate me on arrival before I could function. During the second week, a medical colleague diagnosed post-traumatic shock.


Only in Manzini will you observe: 1. Battered bakkies, whose drivers assume they are blessed with the divine right of kings, emerging without a pause from side-streets and dirt paths onto main roads, shouting and gesturing at the (legal) traffic, ‘obstructing’ their way to glory.


2. Traffic circles, where the rest of planet earth recognises that the first vehicle at  the circle has precedence, frequently resemble the  moments after  the start of a Formula I Grand Prix – ‘he who dares, wins’.
3. The kombi driver who, having dented my bumper, when asked if he had a driving licence, said; “No, but I can get you one cheap for 250 bucks baba.”


4. The man in a black 4x4 BMW who parked half-in and half-out on a no-parking zone, got out and began to urinate on the verge, simultaneously striking up a witty conversation with a bystander as the traffic piled up behind him.
5. The kombi conductor who was asked why they never indicated or used hazard lights, and replied without a flicker that it was because doing so would wear down the  battery and reduce the vehicle’ s resale price.


6. The robust and cheerful man who, when asked why his truck was occupying the area marked off  for handicapped people, announced he’d been feeling poorly at the time and thought the area was for sick people like him.
7. The two drivers who braked suddenly in central Manzini, blocking the entire street, then argued for 10 minutes about which one had summoned the hovering ‘lady of the night’ first.


Could I recommend, dear Editor, that notices warning of Manzini drivers be erected at all the kingdom’s entry points and that the Swaziland Tourism Authority delete all references to driving in Manzini in their excellent brochures for tourists – who can tell what fate awaits innocents.

Dr David Vost                                                               


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