LEARN TO LET ‘IT’ GO!

Sir,

All because of you I soak my pillow and sheets with tears, questioning myself on what I did so terribly wrong to be this torn apart. All along I thought I was doing everything right and worst of all you gave me the impression that you were content with me.

I try to watch amusing comedies thinking that I will forget everything; I laugh my lungs out whenever a joke is cracked but as soon as it is over the smile disappears and I remember everything you did to me. I cannot even keep my eyes away from the phone, thinking you will maybe call me but you don’t bother.

I go for a run in the evenings just to clear my head and it is not easy at all. Whenever I see a car similar to yours, I smile and rush to it thinking it is you and my mind immediately reminds me that you said we were no more.

It hurts me even more when I see you with your new girl. I get to be reminded that we once happened, we were once ‘the couple’ but it is all over now. What you are doing is exactly a ‘copy and paste’ of what you used to do for me and what we used to do together. It’s surprising that you take her exactly where you used to take me, make her watch the very same movies you made me watch when we were together. You walk around holding hands, while everyone is looking at me, the ‘loser’.

I stare at you guys always and wonder if she honeys you the way that I did, I wonder if you have forgotten all the good commemorations we shared together because I haven’t. Just when I was least expecting it, she befriends me. I don’t even know how to behave or react when she talks about her boyfriend. That just breaks me down but because I am strong as a rock, I play it tough, give her that jolly smile yet I know that I am hurting inside. I sometimes think ‘that should be me’, but it’s no use crying over spilt milk.

I just have to admit that what we had has been terminated; we are never getting back together again. Life is all about meeting someone, knowing each other, have fun, get hurt, heal, forgive and let go. That is how we ought to learn after all.

Nkosing’phile NtshaliNtshali

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